Counting Down: 18 days

Oh man..... I must be crazy. I woke up with a really weird dream. I gave birth to 2 small puppies (black and white) and I breast fed one with my left breast. I dreamt that I can pull my nini up and suck it to test whether there are milk coming out or not! *slap forehead* and I fed one of the puppies. And I couldn't bf the right side with the other puppy. I was so damn despressed IN MY DREAMS. Thank god it was just a dream! Actually I was rolling left and right- couldn't sleep before that cos Jayden slept on his own bed last night. Talk about separation anxiety eh? When he slept with me, I felt that I have limited space to move and when he sleeps alone, I miss him. *sigh*


This is how he asked me for an "aeroplane" ride...

Boy... I'm so gonna miss him when I'm in the hospital. I know he will miss me much much too. Ever since he stayed home with me for the past week, he's been very sticky and very loving towards me. Err as you can see here....


He got used to me working in front of my mac but once in a while he will come and pull me into the room and asked me to dance and play with him. He surprised me one day when he went for a nap himself in his new playtent.

Guess, he knows mami is too busy to tuck him in eh? Anyway, he's going back to school on tuesday. Just wish that the viruses will stop attacking him and give him and his body a break too.

We went to check out the hospital where I will be giving birth cos I have never been there since many many years ago. So we timed and even look for the fastest and shortest way to get there, just in case. I got everything I need (I hope) to welcome no2 abroad. Just one more thing - need the father to recover fast. *pray hard*

Count Down: 19 days

Just went for check up and I lost weight again. And doctor asked me not to eat "so much". Can you believe it. hahahaha

Baby last weight was 2.6kgs. This week 3.2kgs. Plus/Minus, baby is 2.8kgs now. So she asked me not to eat so much, worried that baby got too big and then I can't go for natural delivery.

Since Big C is down with hfmd, if I were to deliver now, he can't go into the delivery room with me. *sigh* lonely-nya me in delivery room if baby decided to come now.

Doctor said "I see you in a week time (for checkup) or delivery ward okay?

So these 19 days onwards, I will be eating-whatever-I-need-to-eat-before-I-pop week. Today I bought,


Satay Kajang Hj Samuri. Not much ma....only 10. But I can only wallop 5, full edi. Wanna eat more also cannot.

Initially I bought a few stuff I was craving to eat last weekend. But since J was sick, I just ate whatever I bought with no feelings. Basically I was just swallowing my food and not tasting it also. This week, I wanna enjoy.

Good News, Bad News

Which one you wanna hear first?

Ok.

Good news: Jayden is recovering. Ulcers are getting smaller and appetite is coming back.
Bad news: Since he was sick, whatever he wanted - we give. So, can expect more shouting of "NO" after this.

See my Tai Kor sucking his paci after his round of ice cream.

Good News: I didn't get hfmd. I only got a few dots on my legs and hands.
Bad News: Big C got everything including ulcers on the tongue. He told me now he understand how our son felt.

Good News: I'm already starting to work at home. So no more worries about needing to take EL (choi!Choi!Choi!)
Bad News: Working at home means less pay with a pay cut of 1k. *sigh*

Good News: Jayden been staying at home, with me looking after him.
Bad News: He WANTS MY ATTENTION ALL THE TIME! *pull hair* how to work?

Good News: Went for check up last saturday and baby is growing fine. Baby is now 2.6kgs. Bigger than J who was born at 2.55kgs. But say only, won't be so accurate right?
Bad News: I'm loosing weight. (or izit a good news?)

Good News: Baby + CL room is ready.
Bad News: Since J and Big C is down with hfmd, I think its a bad timing for no2 to come now. *sigh*

Good News: I'm applying for maid. Since I'm working from home and no2 is staying home with me. I might even pull Jayden out from daycare since he gets sick so often.
Bad News: No maids until after raya and maybe more bad news when maid come :(

Good News: Confinement lady confirmed that she will come and attend my confinement.
Good News: My bags are packed. :) finally...

Good News: 21 days to go before pop.
Bad News: 21 days to go before pop. Arghhhh! So hard to breath, So hard to sleep. And J is sooooo manja now always wanna carry.

Please give me a break.

Remember last week I wrote that it seems like forever Monday and Tuesdays I need to take emergency leave to handle Jayden? This week is no different. On Saturday night, we noticed that there were a few red dots on his legs and we thought it was just some rashes. Then I was cleaning up the drawer and took out the thermometer. Jayden saw and he asked me to play doctor with him. So we tested his temperature and it was 38.9. He was having high fever but there weren't any signs and he was cold. And then we checked his body again, now red dots on his legs and his hands. Yeap, it was HFMD. No wonder he cried in the middle of the night and kept telling me "I sad..I sad.."

So we brought him to the hospital and doctor couldn't spot any ulcers in his mouth cos cheeky monkey refused to open the mouth for her to see. So she suspected that he has HFMD and she asked us to go home and monitor him.

On Sunday, I checked his mouth and found this.

He was drooling most of the time and couldn't close his mouth. Sunday night we took him to Yenjai and confirmed, he was having HFMD. He advised us to get this...

That drop (Cataflam) costs me rm51.70. If you're looking for this, just go straight to Guardian and please make sure you go before 7.30pm, that's when the pharmacists go home. This drop eases the pain in the mouth. We tried Nurofen (many pharmacy will recommend this) but it doesn't help much. Just imagine we adult have one ulcer in our mouth and its so painful. Jayden has at least 7 in his mouth-not including those hidden ones. Last night he slept well after taking the drops. (but I cannot sleep *slap forehead*)

As for the dots on his legs, its tiny but contains water. He sometimes will scratch it and tell me its itchy. So we just apply the calamine cream and he's up and running after applying the cream. Like magic cream!


He doesn't look like he's sick.

Sometimes he will just cry and cry and tell me that he's sad. He obviously miss drinking his milk but he cannot suck his bottle. So we gave him sippy cup and he drink much lesser now. He cannot really eat, so I'm like a broken record, kept asking him "Jayden you want this?..jayden You want that?" All he answered me was *shake head*. It's very stressed to see him wanting to eat but cannot and when he can eat (after the drop) he has no appetite to eat. And when he eat, he will spit it out, proly his mouth is so painful and he cannot swallow. I just fed him lunch (rice with soup) and he ate quite a bit, the most in these few days. That's also because I played some youtube Thomas video for him and kept telling him "Thomas ask you to eat rice then only he swallowed *slap forehead* Listen to Thomas also dun wanna listen to own mother.

I just called the daycare and asked if anyone else got it and the clerk told me that they found a kid in the daycare with HFMD and sent him home. I tell you, sometimes some parents are just so irresponsible. The kid is sick and yet still wanna dump the kid there and spread to the rest.

*sigh* I'm very tired edi. I'm very very very tired. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I don't know how to explain how I feel edi. I just wanna say..please give me a break. I really need a break.

Don't kacau a nesting woman

Last night, I turned into a pregnant incredible hulk.

First, Jayden came home and keep whacking me. Whatever he wanted to do and if i say NO, he'll whack/slap my body and he loves to aim at my tummy. So i smacked his hands and asked him don't do that. Guess what he did? He cry la... said "I SAD! I SAD!". *sigh* Can see from his eyes that he has no idea what is wrong and why he is in the bad mood. So, I tahan from being angry, I turned on the laptop and let him enjoyed himself with sesame street games, pressing whatever keys bird bird and elmo asked him to press happily. And then he wanted Thomas videos pulak. And the line was like sh*t, not loading. So he thought , maybe press/whack the keyboard can make it jalan abit. And you know what? each time he whack the keyboard the stupid line really jalan! So whack whack whack my laptop la. Again I said don't do that and he whacked me again. *blood boiling edi* But then cannot blame him right? Cos when he was playing the sesame street games, we asked him to press the keyboard. And then now we ask him don't press? Abit confusing right? So tahan again.. not his fault. Blame it on the stupid streamyx line.

So after dinner, I can sense that my battery is dying. So I lie down. And then I saw my pile of clothes/stuff which I was supposed to bring to hospital. I thought should put in a bag and just grab and go if I wanna go to the hospital. So off to the store room and looked for a bag and my husband said he wanna wash for me first. FINE. Project tergendala.

Then I started to dig and dig into Jayden's drawer and found a few stuff that no2 can use. Then I went and wrote what I need to buy by this weekend. So I was basically here, there, and everywhere.

I told my husband " You know my feelings now? I'm like a bird that is going to lay some eggs, gathering sticks to make a nest" . And he answered me "AIYAH WHY U THINK LIKE THAT?" Guess what happened? *BOOM!* the blood boiling edi. "YOU AH! IT'S CALLED NESTING INSTINCT! ASK YOU TO READ, YOU NEVER READ! EVERYTHING ALSO AIYAH AIYAH AIYAH! LATER SEMUA ALSO SAY DUNNO BLABLABLABLABLABLA!"

You know, men will never understand what women gotto go through during pregnancy. No matter how understanding they can be. UNLESS they read alot or attended some course with the wifey. So at least when they're in the delivery suite they know what to do, like massage the wife's leg or back, chat with the wife and not walk up and down, read newspaper, go toilet like dunno how many times, play games with handfone and sleep. If like that, better don't be in the delivery suite. Make the wife's blood boiling only.

I once thought, if MEN is seahorse (male seahorse give birth to babies-not the female) how many would volunteer to do it? Male seahorse knows the feeling of being fat and the feeling of giving birth, contractions for a long time. See how pity the lil seahorse is pushing to get the fry out?

Anyway......so I stopped nesting and went to bed. Middle of the night, the very usual thing happened. Jayden came and started to wiggle next to me. He just love to roll over  on my face. Sometimes he wil just stop rolling and left his bebird area on my nose. Usually I'll just leave it and he'll just roll over and goes back to sleep. Last night, I brushed him off. And he started crying and whacking me. He even used his head to bang my nose! ARGHHHHH!!!! *blood boiling edi*

You know how frustrating it is to have someone whacking you when you finally get some peaceful sleep and then whacked yr nose with a very HARD HEAD? And the one inside me been doing some olympic somersault for the whole day and there's not much room left for the lil fler to move.

Jayden whacked and whacked me, I just tahan and tahan until... he used his head to bang my tummy! * Kaboom!* Beh tahan edi. I just reached for his ears and twisted it and he started to scream. His father finally came to his rescue although I've been shouting "STOP IT! STOP WHACKING ME!" for a good few minutes. Can see from Big C's facial expression that he was so scared of me. *can imagine myself in green colour , turning into a hulk* Jayden just cannot stop crying and that point in time my mind went blank. Totally no feeling of pitiness, sadness, or what so ever. Maybe I was too tired to think of feel anything already.

I then gathered myself and pulled the lil one near me. Big C refused to let go (so imagine how scarry I was?). I pulled Jayden over and he started to hug me and wanted to WHACK me again *PULL HAIR* When he is going to learn leh? sigh....pity the fler. His ears nearly fall off after my super twisting. So I just hugged him and we all went back to sleep after a good 20 mins or so of shouting and crying in the middle of the night. Neighbours must be wondering what the heck is wrong with this family, shouting like mental ppl in the middle of the night.

This morning, I woke up feeling like a pile of sh*t. Made milk for Jayden and he woke up. I thought to myself "Don't know if he remember what happened last night or not?" And then he said to me "Bite bum bum...." Requesting me to bite his bum bum. "Bite elbow..., Bite Chin.....Bite ChitChit....." Well, he's alright. Requesting me to bite here and there - our usual game. All happy and chirpy like a little bird that just got fed with worms and went off to school happily with his dad. Well, maybe he remember or maybe he doesn't. Maybe I should learn from him, forget about the sadness and think about the happy things that is going to happen *pray , please let it be happy day for me*

Jayden getting ready to be kor kor

So we are trying to sort out what to throw and what to keep for No.2 to use and we found this old bassinet. Jayden used to use this basinet just for a few days only cos I find it hot for the baby to sleep in it. Bouncing net is much a better option due to the weather in Malaysia. Anyway since it was given to us, I find it sayang to throw it away. So I took it out and let it stay under the sun for a good few hours thinking that I can reuse it for No.2.

And guess who's enjoying it?

Jayden says: (c)Amera? Cheese..................

Yeah he's been using it as a playstation for himself. Dumped all his puzzle, his cars and whatever he wants to dump in it.

Last night I asked him, "Jayden, Elmo wanna sleep. Can elmo sleep in the basket?" I passed him a blanket and a smaller Elmo pillow which was initially hand-sewn for him to bring to daycare but he rejected it. At first he placed Elmo into the basket and covered Elmo with his blanket. Then I think he changed his mind and hop into the basket and even placed a pacifier for Elmo and watched tv.


I asked him again "Do you want to read a book for Elmo?" He got up and took the book that Amy sent for No.2 and started point and said the animal names to Elmo. And then he sang " La La La La " ( to rock a bye baby song tune) and pat Elmo. But I tell you, if that is a real baby, I think the baby will have internal injury already. Hahahahah

So how? Pass or not this kor kor?

Note: We're going to scrap this bassinet cos it's already so koyaked but Jayden seems to enjoy himself playing in it...Hmmmm

Getting Ready for No.2

Before I gave birth to Jayden, one of the routine for me was to apply hand cream onto my super dry hands. I don't know why. For me, I think that the baby's skin is the most delicate thing ever so that's why I have this tendency to make my hand soft to welcome it. *lol*

But this time round, I'm so bogged down with work, Jayden, cleaning, cooking and blablabla. So many things to handle and so little time. I totally forgot about my hands! So when Barbara introduced it to me few weeks ago, I was thrilled and even emailed to ask for a sample. It came a few days later.

Of course I tried it immediately and instantly I fell in love with it. First, it gives you the dry and yet moist feeling-unlike my usual hand cream which I have to wait for it to dry then only I can resume with my work. Imagine, I can even apply it while waiting for the light to turn green at the traffic lights!

Besides that, I love the fragrant free smell. Unlike my other hand cream, everyone would know that SASHA IS APPLYING HAND CREAM because everyone can smell the rose smell. My boss would give me the look like he's suffocating! *lol*

Since I'm in the air-cond room from 9am - 6pm, my skin tends to be very dry. With the normal hand cream, you need to reapply it over and over again to ensure that your hands are moist all the time. But with this Gloves In A Bottle, the moisture were locked in because it works like an invisible pair of gloves. 

Well, it's been a week since I have started on Gloves In A Bottle and I can say I'm happy with the result. Probably by 2 weeks time, my hand will be smoother to welcome my no.2.

Spinning Around..

Last Friday was a bad bad night for me. Jayden got so sticky to me, basically hung on to me like a kutu. Mamimi this..Mamimi that... Actually he does that to me everynight. But somehow on Friday night it just felt like whatever he was doing was so irritating and I couldn't take it. I kept pushing him aside and asking his dadidi to take over. 

Suddenly I felt like as if I was suffocating and wanted to lie down on the bed-uniterrupted. Nope, Jayden wants to play aeroplane, wanted me to give him a piggy back ride. Kept using his hands to turn me around. And suddenly I felt like the whole world was spinning around.

So I thought okay...I'm way too stressed since I couldn't breath properly while I was at work. So I told Big C to get Jayden away from me otherwise I don't know what I'm going to do to him. But nope, I don't know what happened, Jayden refused his father. I finally burst and hugged Big C and just cried my heart out. Jayden just lie down next to me and looked at me crying.  And then I fell asleep. Or izit pengsan??! I don't know.

I woke up middle of the night, still dizzy.
Woke up the next day, still dizzy but it got better after my roti canai breakfast (maybe cos the food healed me,hehe)  and I accompanied Jayden to his class. After that I gave my gynea a call and asked her what happened and according to how I describe it, I have middle ear infection. *phew* I tot I was having low blood pressure and will pop anytime! Anyway at least another 2 more weeks for me *pray* 

And Sunday, I thought that I wanna go and have a final look at what I've left out for the arrival of No2 in Mother's and Baby Exhibition. Yeah.. some of you will say "IT'S NEXT WEEK WHAT????!" That is how blur I AM! Sigh.. i think I'm going kuku edi. I really need a break. Can I still go for holiday before I pop?

Anyway, to remind myself to move my @ss, I've made a checklist:
Confinement
CL + Baby's room = Cleaned but not in order yet.
Confinement stuff - herbs = Haven't get it yet. But no worries, I have 3 uncles that operates herbal shops.
CL : need to call to reconfirm that she's coming otherwise I need to find replacement.
CL's pay: Anyone wanna sponsor? It's 3K now..
Cooking wine: Mom got it ready! 2 different flavours some more *yum*
Dome: (big C we have left overs right?)

Baby:
Baby's cloth diaper= washed and folded.
Baby's clothes= washed, folded and sorted according to sizes
Bottle sterilizer= :( not yet
Car seat = Sent for rewrap and its looking like brand new.
Baby cot= Up but not dressed up yet.
New clothes for baby to come home with= Bought.
New clothes for Full Moon= Bought.

For me:
Breast pump = checked and its working fine.
Hospital Bag = half packed cos I don't know what to bring.
Urut Lady: got contacts but haven't selected one that is not scared of dogs.
Breast feeding pillow= Got it!


What else?? what else? I just wanna get everything sorted out and chill. But I don't think Jayden is gonna let me do that. *sigh*

Our lil big kor kor

The other day, Big C gotto go to work early. Before he went off, big kor kor woke up and saw his dadidi dressed for work and he showed a very unhappy face cos it's normally Big C that send him off to my car before he goes to school everyday...

Me: Jayden, Dadidi gotto go work now okay?

Big C: Dadidi see you tonight okay? *kiss*

Jayden: *whack Big C* I sad... I sad...

Me: No...Don't hit Dadidi. Dadidi will see you tonight k?

Jayden: *sob* I sad.... I sad....dadidi...work! *turned around and watched tv*

Big C: *sigh*

See how he can make his father feel so guilty...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was one night when he insisted to lie on top of my tummy cos his dad was away for business trip. I refused to let him lie on top of me cos my tummy is really big now and I cannot breath if he lie on top of me. He tried to position himself but I pushed him away and he cried like mad. So happened his dadidi came home...

See the tears on his face? Happy la.. cos the father came back to his rescue and even used his dadidi's face as a train track

See la.. all his dadidi's fault cos he lets his son sleep on top of him everynight!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seems like he's dadidi's boy right? Well, I had my sweet moments with him too :P

He was banned from drinking his fav Yakult and any cold drinks since he was coughing. But this lil boy sure knows how to get what he wants.

Jayden: I want Kakult! Okay! *imitating me giving approval* Yay!!!! *run to fridge*
Me: Jayden, No! No Yakult!
Jayden: I want Kakult! Okay! Okay! * take vitagen (Yakult , Vitagen, Solivite - to him everything is Yakult) and tried to look for straws*
Jayden: Mamimi, straw? Peaseeee? *puppy eyes*
Me: *sigh* Okay... No more after this one okay?
Jayden: Thank you mi, sayang u...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other night when he used my tummy as a table to play puzzle, he said to me:

Jayden: Sayang Baby?
Me: Okay....
Jayden: *stroke tummy and went off to play and came back in 30 seconds time*
Jayden: Kiss baby?
Me: Okay.... Good kor kor
Jayden: *kiss tummy and run away*
Jayden: Hug baby?
Me: Sure :)
Jayden: *hugged tummy*
Jayden: Kiss baby?
Me: Okay :)
Jayden: *kiss* *kiss* *kiss*
Me: Wait wait, I go get camera first. *went to get camera* Okay Jayden come and kiss baby la..
Jayden: ........*smile and run away, refused to kiss tummy anymore*
Me: Arghhhhhhhhh why didn't i put the camera nearer leh?

I wonder how is it going to be when No2 is really out. I think he will be super jealous when he sees me carry another baby since he's so manja with us now. Oh well, just wait and see in another 35 days time.

At home again...

Last week, I was at home cos J's sch was closed and I couldn't bring him to office- bossi and principle around. This week, today I'm at home - AGAIN. J's down with flu+cough+fever. *sigh* It seems like I'm working less than 5 days in a week for the pass few weeks and guess what? No more leave! hahaha I've been taking unpaid leave but they have yet to deduct my salary - i think if they do, not much left for me to bank in.

Anyway, here's something I'd like to share with you guys. This is J, dealing with anger his style/way.

Tried to piss him off by taking away his crayon to make him say what he normally say when he's angry. But I guess he's not THAT pissed afterall.

My mum loves to make him angry so that she can listen and laugh at him reciting A-Z. She thinks it is funny.

This tummy were made for...

for him to play puzzle on it...

When he's bored he will play aeroplane...

Oppssss...tarak pakai seluar!

And If he's happy after that, I'll get a smack on my lips as a sign of appreciation.

Finally...

...the school reopened today after one week of closure. I survived 3 days with him in my office and 2 days at home, just the two of us.

The night before I kept reminding myself to go early to school tomorrow, just in case the big guy will give me some difficult time. Afterall, it's been one whole week since he's away from school. Dadi is still away (and will be back tonight *yay*) so I gotto get myself ready for work (took 2 days unpaid leave to stay at home with him cos my principle and boss was around in the office) and also get the big guy ready too.

This morning while I was busy doing something in the living room, the big guy walked out from the room with a shoe in his hands and told me "Thank You, mi....." asking me to put on his shoes for him.

After I put on his shoes for him, he walked to the gate and told the dogs "Bye Cha Cha, siu you" See you). (Sorry bobo no bye-byes for you.)

And then when I pressed the car alarm, he said "this side..this side" and wanted to open the back door to get in. *scrath head* normally he insists to get into the car from the front side and refused to sit on his car seat. This morning, he went to his car seat and asked me to buckle his seat belt.

When we're about to reach the sch, he said "Bye Bye School..." *slap forehead* I corrected him and said "Hi school!" and he giggled. Maybe he knows and he just wanted to tease me. I don't know. As soon as I parked my car he told me "I want pway...." and asked me to unbuckle his seat belt. Off he ran into the school dragging his Elmo bag (a pressie from lil monster's mom)


This was taken a few weeks ago when we're on our way home from daycare.

As soon as he saw his teacher, he acted abit shy. Then he went to his teacher, turned around and shouted..."Bye Bye Mamimi!!".

45 days to go

Me in week 32.

Yeap, only 45 days more to go. Not too long, not so soon.

It's like everyone popped and I m waiting for my turn next. Having mixed feeling now. Excited, happy, worried all being mixed up like a nice bowl of fruit rojak *drool*.

Excited because I wonder how my baby will look like since doctor and nurse said that baby looks exactly like korkor. Happy cos there's an addition to this small house.

Worried cos all I have for baby now is a pair of breast waiting to breast feed *lol* and some clothes, hand over from korkor's collection. The cot is still in pieces, the room for the confinement lady is still in a mess. And we still don't know what is gonna happen when I suddenly feel like giving birth in the middle of the night. Who's going to take care of Jayden when Big C is in the delivery room with me? Anyway, let's wait for Big C to come back and then we decide unless baby decide to come out now..........okay, let's not think about that.

The big kor kor is still clueless (I think) about my big belly. All he said was "Baby..." Pointing/stroking my tummy. I think he will be extremely jealous when No.2 comes out. But anyway, in the mean time, I just wanna enjoy our quite moment, alone, together.

Pic from Tricia's site.

You know he's missing you when...

He calls out for you out of a sudden when he's playing his train...

He calls out for you when he's eating something...

He calls out for you when he's watching his favourite Elmo...

He calls out for you right before he sleep...

He calls out for you when he's drinking his milk...

And even when he's dreaming...


All I hear everyday out of a sudden and even when I can't go to sleep in the middle of the night was...


"Dadidi!!! Dadidi..work...."



*sigh* I know you miss him too...hope that the project will be over soon.