Okay. I admit, I am a "helicopter mum". I hover around in my son's school. Observe him from outside his class, talk to his friends, talk to the teachers, ask him questions, talk to his friend's mum. Ok, I know you are shaking your head by now. haha
Anyway...... So today I sent JD to sch and teacher gave them a picture to colour. Then I overheard someone saying "Jayden Chan, take out your colour pencil!" And my son took out his colour pencil and ZUUUUP, 3 other kids started using his colour pencil. "I need Black!". And he pass black to his friend. "I Need this.. I need that". And he quietly take his yellow colour pencil which is as short as his pinky finger and went to sharpen it. I went and squat next to him and asked him "Is this why your colour pencil is always missing and always so short?" He kept quiet and just sharpen his colour pencil. I said " They always use your colour pencil? I thought JD Lee has a big box of colour pencil?". He quickly sharpen the colour pencil and hand over to the other kid. OMG, my son is doing things to please his friends cos he wanna be accepted by them?
Why am I so sensitive about this? Cos I was once like that. I do things for people, do artwork, projects, anything and everything just to please my friends in secondary school. And guess what? They never liked me. They just used me. Once they wanted to skip class and decided to hand in the counseling room to avoid BM class. And I didn't wanna join them. Suddenly half way through the class, one of my friend came and asked the teacher's permission to allow me to follow them to the counseling room. And guess what ? When I got to the counseling room, the counseling teacher was waiting for me and started asking question like "your friends said that they have problem with you. It seems like you are making them very upset. They said that you don't wanna join them for parties and shopping sessions with them?". I replied "my parents don't allow me to go shopping and parties". That is the truth. Then after some Q&A session , we were asked to go back to the class room. And Guess what again? The bunch of "friends" acted like as if nothing happened. Then I found out that they were chilling at the counseling room and suddenly counseling teacher caught them. So they "had no choice" and to "create" a problem. And who was the scape goat? Me! Ever since then, it actually make my secondary life abit of a sad case. And when the year ended I was so glad that they went to different classes. Hallelujah for me! I had a great year in form 3 until I was placed back in the same class as one of the girl that bullied me. How? Avoid ler ..
So back to JD's case. So I went and asked one of the boy about his own colour pencil. Cos I have seen him using his own colour pencil out. 36 pcs, mind you. Damn big box and nicely arrange, with all pencils sharpened nicely. He replied to me "Cos I don't want to take out". And continued to use JD's. He even said "I NEED BLACK" and my son just passed to him. Helo? My son is your what ? PA ah? No way, man. So I went and told teacher about it and Jeng Jeng Jeng, she went and told them off. And they quietly take out their own colour pencil. Wah seh... this is no good man. I don't mind my kid being generous and sharing his stuff but then that is so obvious that he is being bullied. No wonder, his colour pencil always go missing and the colour pencil seems to be short in a very short period of time.
Ai.. this JD. Really headache. He is the "tidak apa" kind of attitide and gets bullied so easily. Used to get whacked by a girl in school also diam diam and let her twist his ears. I have also seen the same boy that used his colour pencil, smacking him and asking friends not to "friend" him. But after some "counseling" session with him, now he knows how to protect himself. He can protect himself like shouting for help when someone snatch his toys in McD (actually Justin shouted and scold the guy first and he followed :S ) and also fight back when his cousin smacked him. But now, I need to tell him that sometimes we need to be selfish and need to becareful of certain ppl that have bad intentions. *scratch head*
jd will grow up to be a very good husband though..hehe, i think bully cases wont be as much if the teachers actually do something constantly whenever they spot any sign of bully, but usually they will jz brush it off :( It would surely help if those kids parents spot their kids of bullying and discipline them too, then there wont be so much bullying cases lor right!
ReplyDeletePoor JD. I would be heartbroekn if that happens to Aidan. I am not worried about Ashley as she knows how to protect and fend for herself.
ReplyDeleteWe should not tolerate bullies! I feel you babe!
First of all,who coined the word,"helicopter mom"? hahah nice, by the way,I like JD already,such a nice boy,you know try telling him to draw a line too being nice,does not mean be taken advantage of....
ReplyDeletewell,I know you can handle this well.
take care and have a great "helicopter weekend" hahhahahahah
I can understand how you feel, we definitely hate to know that our children are being abused/bullied. I will be stood out for my kids, if I know that happened too.
ReplyDeleteI met JD once during Annie's twin boys' bday party and I can see that he's a gentle and nice boy and that could be the reason why he's target for bullies.
ReplyDeleteI always emphasize to my boy the art and importance of saying "NO" at the right time and it seems to work pretty well on him. Being the only child at home, he desperates want to please his peers and be accepted into their circle.
I feel you Sasha. I think the teacher plays a very important role. Instead of telling the other boys off, she should encourage JD to speak up, say NO if he was asked to do something out of his will. JD is always a sweet kiddo, as always.
ReplyDeleteSasha,we're facing the same problem. Gibran gets bullied left right n center by his cousins n frens. When shamel says "stand up!" "do this do that!" gibran would always comply. It drives me nuts!! I try to tell him that he should do what HE wants n not wat other ppl want..but often he still complies with ppl's orders! I dunno wat to do!
ReplyDeletenow i know why you have very strong minded justin. he arrives for a readon.wait till his lil brother goes to school, then baru they all terasa, hahaha!
ReplyDeletesasha,
ReplyDeleteI would like to give u a little suggestion, how about let daddy to do "man to man" talk with JD? :-D cos there's once my son is facing some probs too, he lost his confidence on everything, he talks so soft, and have no confidence on his school work, and then i found that daddy n son's talk works, my hubby gave him a long talk, n teach him how to be a confidence "man", (my hubby ask him to talk loud, saying YES I CAN DO THIS!etc) n now we can see he is improving. :-)
this age boy needs daddy as their role model to be a "MAN".good luck and hugs to sasha n JD.
I understand how you feel ... I do that, too sometimes. Spy at the kids, see what they are up to. Don't worry .. along the way, with your guidance, he'll be a superboy! :)
ReplyDeleteI just love both of them. JD such a darling and JT is sooo cheeky. Dont worry, with JT pairing up with JD soon, nobody will dare bullying JD again. I'm sure :)
ReplyDeleteMy son is in the same situation
ReplyDeleteAlways kena bullied =.="