Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Understanding why he dislike being no5. *updated*

So he cried and cried and cried so much. Everytime someone asked, he will cry. Then my mum asked and he cried. Then bawl and insisted that I give him a report card with no.1. I said "NO! You must learn to accept the fact that you got no5 in class. No one is going to make a new report card for you and no one can change the position for you. If you wanna get no.1, you must work harder, practice your chinese writing and when exam comes, show what you can do and get no.1 yourself"


My mum hugged him, "it's okay... it's okay. No need number 1."

My dad went and hugged him "It's okay ah den. No need to get no.1. Ah kong sayang ah...."

His dad scolded me "you put it up on the blog for the whole world to see and then everyone will ask him and make him even more sad!"

I snapped back in tears "You didn't read what I wrote and you're saying this to me? I wrote because I think that it's a milestone for me as a mother and I have no place to voice it out. Would you understand how I feel as a mother? I just wanna write and get it out from me. You think I am not sad to see our son like this?"

Nobody was happy that day.My hub asked me to drive back from my parents' that night and he hugged JD all the way back and kept telling him "dadi love you, dadi love you. You are very clever boy".

When we got home, I asked everyone to leave me and JD alone in the kitchen. I took out his report card and his exam papers.

Me: what number did you get?
JD: *show one finger.. and then 5 fingers*
Me: What number do you think is the last number in class?
JD: 5? (he thought no5 is last in class)
Me: okay let me show you *show him his report card* You see , last semester you are 1st over 16 student. Do you know what it means?
JD: I get no.1
Me: yes. you got no.1 but out of 16 students. And then new girl came, so 16 plus 1 equals?
JD: 17!
Me: yeap.. and this round you are 5th out of 17 students. No5 is here.. *put hand high* and 17 is here *put another hand very very very low* and no1 is here *put hand slightly above 5* you see?
JD: *smile* yes!
Me: so, no5 is not very far from no1 right?
JD: yes!
Me: but 17 is very far from no5. right?
JD: yes! *happy face*
Me: So... how did you end up at no.5? let me show you okay?

So I took out his BM, Eng and Math paper. Showed him all the "tick" marks on the paper. And showed him 100% and linked to the report card.

Me: so you see, when you get 100% here, teacher will write 100% here. and your chinese.. you see you have a mistake here, your stroke is slightly too high. And here you forgot to circle, but you already colour so you missed 9 points. 100 minus 9 equals?
JD: *count count and lost count*
Me: 91% and teacher wrote here in your report book.
JD: *nod nod*
Me: So teacher never simply write you get no5 not because she doesn't like you. Its because you never collect full points for your exam. Just like playing ipad games, when you missed some "stars" or "ducks" then you won't get EXCELLENT or 3/3 ducks right? And then they will write congratulations, you are 3rd! So when you never answer correctly, then you loose some "stars" or some "ducks" and then you get lower marks lor. So maybe LST got no mistake, so he got no1. Or R answered one wrong then she got no2. And maybe C answered 2 wrongs so she get no3. And because you answer few wrongs so you get no5 lah.
JD: who got no17?
Me: I dunno wor... I also dunno who got no1,2,3,4. I only know who got no 5. You know who?
Me: Yes! 5 out of 17 people. And you know you collected FULL points for these 3 papers except this one. So you're very good edi. You know?
JD: okay.
Me: 100% for 3 papers out of 4 papers. That's very very good edi. I told you, I don't care if you get no1 or not. I only want a good boy.
JD: yes yes.
Me: So let me ask you. If between No.1 and mami, which one would you choose?
JD: You.
Me: yeah. Same like me. Between no1 and you, without a doubt, I WILL CHOOSE YOU. Cos you're the most important thing to me. And not No.1. Understand?
JD: *big smile*
Me: so now, go and tell you dadi what number you get in class.
JD: *ran up* dadi dadi I got no5 out of 17 people in my class!
Dadi: Clever Boy!

And so after hearing why he dislike being no5, I found out he thought that no5 is the last number in class.
And he doesn't get how come teacher gave him No.5 instead of No.1. His fav train is No.1 so he thought he must be forever no.1 engine.
He doesn't know how the point system works, ie exam paper reflects his result in report book.

And after explaining to him, he is happier and kinda accepted the fact that he is no5 and he must work harder to improve his chinese. So the next day i tried and see his reaction again.

Me: Jayden, what number did you get in class?
JD: *show one finger*
Me: *angry*
JD: *show 5 fingers*
Me: Yes. No 5
JD: Can you make one report card and put no1 for me? *grin*
Me: *slap forehead*


  1. Aww poor jd. He's such a clever boy la..i have always disliked the number-ing system!

  2. My kids never got top top before in their kindies.. don't remember them getting top positions.. as long as they learn something in the kindy and spending half day there, it is all that counts.. hahaha...
    All 100% marks for the 3 subjects? gosh.. I would have jumped with joy!!

  3. you are doing well, Sasha, I like your parenting style ... being no 5 is a achievement too.. glad that Jayden accepted the fact after listen to your reasoning ..

  4. Good explanations!! Sometimes we really need to talk to them to understand them better. He is really smart - really good results he got. I would be super happy if my son has the same results as Jayden!!

  5. Well done, JD! He did really well. But the poor boy, got so upset at first. Glad he finally understood the whole situation.

  6. Awww...poor boy didn't understand...Luckily you always very creative to explains things to the boys. No wonder your professional is design cause you are so creative.

    I hope next time when I have to explain stuff to mine I'll be as creative as you.

    So happy to hear is all clear and JD is happy now. I'm sure he will try harder next round.

    p/s: schools so competitive now back home. Didn't know that they have exams in kindy.

  7. "Xin Fu Hau Tim".. What you did is right Sasha. He has to understand the situation he's in. He will strive to do better the next time and be more appreciative. Haiz.. I really don't like this numbering system in our schools.

  8. Oh Sasha! What a BRILLIANT way of illustrating to him that no 5 is also great and that mum is better than No 1!!! aaaah..the joys and rewards of being a stay home mum. Moments like these I think, we must be doing something righ...our kids will thank us for this one day, and please give yourself more than a pat on the back. You are an awesome mum!!!! Your boys are so lucky to have you :)

  9. *cringe* of thinking how strong the competitiveness among the kids now...100% for exam? I never got that throughout my schooling time....scary scary.......

  10. u r good and creative in explaining ler....Jayden does very well in his study hor :)

  11. I was in your shoes when my boy first got his report card in std 1 with positioning in class and standard. He was not graded during his kindy years and this one came as a shock to him when he saw a "4" in the position column as he thought No. 4 means last and last means No. 4. Haha... He's not as competitive as Jayden though as he's okay as long as he's not the last in class. *slap forehead*

  12. You are a great mum! Boys are fortunate to have you.