Last year around this time, hub and I both got into a heated argument. I remember very well that it was after Justin's birthday party. Someone made a remark about Jayden. He asked "why Jayden likes to play train only? Why he doesn't play with other people? Why he likes to spin like that ? Why Why Why" So hub told me that night that maybe we should get Jayden checked and something is wrong with him. I cried, of course. I cried more cos "someone" said that my house is messy and made the kids brain is messy too. So I cleaned the house at 12.30am until 3 am. I cleaned the damn house until it's speck clean and I fell asleep on the sofa cos I took sleeping medicine, knowing that I will be extremely active after cleaning the house.
The next day, I thought if he has something wrong I will get help for him. So I went and observe other kids in his class. I noticed that not only him has that characteristics. Some kids only talk to certain people. Some kids talk to every tom, dick, and harry.Then onwards I became an observer until today I am still doing it. The way he hold pencil , used to be wrong. But so many is wrong. So everyone is not right is it? Then onwards, I told myself if someone gotto stand up for him before he can stand up for his own, then it's gotto be ME.
This year, the same boy made the same remark. He asked me "Why Jayden doesn't like to play with other people wan?" I asked him back "do you play with everyone?" He said "No. Only some people that I like". "Then why Jayden cannot play with whoever he likes?" He said "but he only play with his brother". I said "But Justin is his best friend. Why he cannot play with his best friend?" He then ask "why he only like trains?" I asked him back "What do you like?" He said "PSP and PS3 games lor" "Then why not you like other things?". I asked him back "why don't you like other things besides PSP and PS3?" He replied "cos its boring". "So maybe Jayden also think that other things besides trains are boring too?". He said "yeah hor...then why he likes to spin". I said "when I was small I used to spin like that. And I think its nice , and after you stop you will see the world is spinning . Its funny la. Why cannot is it?" He said "No.. No..".
Then onwards, he never ask anything and he began to play with Jayden.
Then his dad said that the way he writes his name is weird. I went and check out others, few kids writes the same way.
When he gets excited he will start to jump and then hold his birdie. Of course I went and observe, guess how many of his classmates are doing that?
About spinning, I noticed that a few of his friends are doing it too. I used to do it, why can't he do it? What spin also against the law ah now?
So you see, people likes to talk, judge and simply say things. But it is my duty to stand up for him when someone tried to kill him with words.If not me, then who else, right?
hugs to you, Sasha!
ReplyDeletethere is no right or wrong. There is only the preference that we decided to do, so as the kids. Let them do what they like, which they enjoy! Not too worry, enjoy your life too!
ReplyDeleteThat 'someone' so banyak complain geh? This kenot, that cannot... why so rigis and dun allow the kids freedom to do as they please and play as they please and write the way they feel comfy? If my hubby like this, I sure maki hamun, and it is not the house messy punya fault. It got nothing to do with kids brain bring messy. The one that making the kids brain messy is restriction placed upon them by the society! This is my opinion, who dun like, can go cari me at my blog and tembak me personally.
ReplyDeleteOver A Cuppa Tea
Never mind lah sister, just remember our sons and daughters are unique in their own special way..
ReplyDeleteI like your questions shot back at the boy,,
Don't be frust lah,,,,
why your son like to spin things? indirectly they are trying to say that our sons/daughters are autistic. I learned it throught the hard way. I scolded my elder sister because she said my daughter not looking into her eyes but looking at the tv, and she asked me to bring her to c specialist. I found myself asking all the time...also....and now I stop asking. If she is autistic, then all of us are mentally ill also.
ReplyDeleteIf really our kids have problem, we, as a parents will be the first one to know, as we are the closest person to the kid. We actually don't need others to tell us, as we care for our own children the most. Right, Sasha?
ReplyDeleteWell said Sasha.. Importantly we as parents are assured of our child's capabilities. Who knows better about our kid than us right. You did all the right thing.
ReplyDeleteremember - selective hearing :) if what others say are gibberish, ignore and move on :)
ReplyDeleteIt's all normal la. He's still at a young age what. They will mature as they grow. I dont understand some people. When too active, its something wrong, when too quiet also something wrong. Each kid is unique. You are doing a good job Sasha. You're a good mom! :)
ReplyDeleteWhen Jayden grows up & read abt this, he will be really proud of mummy!!! I salute you for doing all you can for the boys!!! Stay strong & be positive!!!!
ReplyDeletethe one who asked questions, boy or man wor? so pandai to ask one.. hahhaa... he is very brave, dare to ask auntie sasha this and that! :p
ReplyDeletevery true! we have to stand up for them if they're not doing anything wrong. noone has the rights to kill our children's spirits and criticize every little, harmless thing that they do! i believe that its necessary for them to see this as well, because then they'll learn how to stand up for themselves too!
ReplyDeleteJaYden is unique and special. If everybody does things the same, it will be robotic. :)
ReplyDeletewow. this is such a mom thing!! to feel this way and say these things. it's sweet (: your sons are lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteps: i used to spin around a lot as a kid, too. then i would lie flat on my back on the floor and watch the world turn and turn. i loved it. also, my friend and i would "see" the world upside-down. (we looked through the space between our bent knees or tilted our heads far back whilst lying on the grass in the field) it was just a kid thing, i guess. something i really miss doing, to be honest.
you're such a good mom! no need to feel put down by anything people say. haters will always hate.