She is with us for exactly 60 days. She is 23 yrs old Cambodian girl. When she first arrived she always like to cry while holding her brother's picture and said that she miss him. Then she told me that she is in Malaysia to work and earn money for her brother to study. Now she said No need to send money back to cambodia and she want to use the money for herself to study. Different cerita :S
She took my new calendar without asking my permission on the first few days she was with us. When I asked her she said she wanted to "see" only. The calendar was in her room for many days. Then I told her have to ask permission if she want to "use" or "see" anything.
She then took my hub's new calendar diary and wrote in it. I thought my hub gave it to her. Bythe time i found out she took without permission it was very long after edi. So i just say "let it be. no next time"
Then I saw her nails, painted with clear nail polish. I didn't know if she came with it or she took mine. So I didn't make any noise.
She walked out from the toilet with just towel. My hub saw and he told me. Then I wanted to approach her when she was doing that but I always cannot "catch" her at that moment. (either I'm nursing or in the room or something) -that happened in old house.
I found her using her pinky and dip into Justin's water bottle to test temperature. I shouted EKKKKKKKK and she laughed and pour the water away and did it again! I said DIRTY!! don't ever do like that anymore. Now I still check on her whether she is doing that or not.
One day I found her EATING my 3in1 coffee. EAT, u read it right. She was chilling at the washing machine, standing with her legs crossed. One hand resting on the washing machine-leaned backwards and another hand was aboutr to pour the coffee into her mouth. Then she saw me standing there and she nearly choked. Then she keep saying "I no hand maam. I do like this (biting the coffee packet). I no hand. I do this (trying to tell me she was taking clothes out from washing machine and place into dryer. She thought I just saw her in fact I saw the entire thing. I asked her what she is doing and she keep repeating "I NO HANDS, I NO HANDS" trying to tell me that she doesn't available hands to hold the coffee while she "WAS WORKING" so she used her mouth to bite the coffee pack. She lied obviously about no hands to work and holding the coffee powder with her mouth. I told her "This coffee, is to mix with water and DRINK. Not to eat like this." And I immediately took out all the "cheaper" coffee packs and placed into a container and told her "This is for you. You can only drink coffee in this container".
10 mins later, i went down again. This time she was standing at the washing machine again. Flipping magazine. :S When she saw me she slowly turn....... and slowly put down the magazine..... and tried to reach for something to do. :S as if I cannot see if its in slow motion.
When we just moved in, I was busy taking care of the kids and I asked her to unpack. Then I "ninja-ed" down (walk like a ninja-without any sound) and found her squating down, reading magazine. Then she saw me and she quickly put down the magazine and pretend to work.
She also like to sit down and do nothing when I'm upstairs taking care of my kids or working. So I have to on-and-off ninja down to check what she is doing. Because of the swollen mouth and walking up and down the stairs, I lost weight. Managed to get back into my pre pregnancy jeans.
Once she was cleaning the room, she arranged the bed nicely and guess what? She even arranged Jayden's milk bottle nicely, hidden behind the pillow.
many times when she cleans the room, even if she see the diaper she will just totally ignore it. C'mon hard to ignore when its full with Shit right?
One day I saw her outside , about to start to bath my dogs. I went out with Justin and I saw a container with Washing Powder. I asked her "What are you using to bath cha cha?" She point at the washing powder. I asked her why ? "NO MORE SHAMPOO MAAM". Shit her la.. I went and took a new bottle of shampoo just next to the old one and gave her. Later that day I asked her whether she knows that the washing powder is very rough and can cause skin problem to the dog. She say YES. And I asked her if she runs out of shampoo herself, she will use the washing powder and bath? She say NO. :S
2.1 Starting to misbehave...
She took my mirror without asking me. That was when I had my swollen mouth.
She tried to watch tv when we left her at home. How we know? The tv was showing "starry" movie. She doesn't know how to operate astro- so simply press the tv remote control. That happened twice. And I didn't scold her -yet!
She tried to watch TV during her working hour (noon) even when she's supposed to be working. I was up in the room with the boys.
I asked her to come into my working room and gave her "verbal counseling" - telling her I know she took my mirror and also tried to watch tv. She cried say "sorry" and I asked her to return the mirror immediately and she just say "yes maam" and walked out of the room and avoided me for 2 days - never return my mirror.
2 days later I was in too much pain and wanted to look at my swollen mouth and I asked her to return my mirror NOW!!! and she gave it back to me showing the "black face"
I asked her to sit down and repeat what I have said to her (when I gave her the "verbal counseling" and she managed to repeat everything (means she understand what I've been babbling- her english not bad and she is not stupid-confirmed!). I asked her why she did not return the mirror she replied "I FORGOT".
She took my nail clipper again. I asked her why she said she found in the drawer inside Jayden's room (she sleep in Jayden's room because we have not cleaned her room before cny. We stuffed all the boxes inside). I said NO, gotto ask me first.
I went and bought a English-Khmer dictionary with Wen's help. (Thanks wen!) One day I heard Justin cried for very long time and I went down. She was sitting FAR AWAY from Justin, reading the dictionary letting Justin cry on the matress, on the floor. Jayden was running around asking me for "ribena". She did not give him water to drink for 2 hours after he woke up. I went down and she quickly hide the dictionary and crawled to Justin and pretend like she is playing with him. I asked her to come to the kitchen while I started to cook and I asked her what were you doing? Why Justin cry so long? Why Jayden don't have any water to drink? She keep quiet. And I replied for her. Because you're so busy reading the dictionary. You ask my permission to read? Are you very free? You cannot hear Justin crying? You cannot see Jayden don't have water to drink? You can read, IF you ask my permission to use the book and after you have finished your work. She just say YES MAAM.
One day, my hub opened the toilet door and saw her....trying to get up from sitting on the toilet seat. The toilet seat was down. She was sitting and chilling in the toilet. When my hub asked her "what are you doing?" she just walk out from the toilet and went to hide.
One day I found her using my dryer, she was trying to smuggle the dried clothes into her room to fold. I asked her why did she used the dryer when she was supposed to hang it under the sun. She answered "Because we go out. And you ask me to help your sister cook".
And then next day I saw my dictionary in her room again. And I brought the book and asked her "did you take my dictionary again without asking my permission?" She said YES. I flipped to the page with the word "PERMISSION" and asked her to read. Must ask permission, understand? YES MAAM she replied.
So since she said we brought her out and because of that she cannot finish her work. I asked her to stay at home one Saturday and gave her a list of things to do. Things which she was supposed to do but never. Like vacuuming and mopping my room or upstairs. She told me she mop the house twice a day. MY FOOT. She will only mop the top floor IF I asked her "Have you mop the floor?" And she will lie and say "YES ALREADY". And I will say "ARE YOU SURE?" then she will POOF!!!! go missing and fast fast clean the top floor. When we came back her hair was in a mess. Obviously just woke up from beauty sleep. And I checked, she did not vacuum the rooms.
2.2 Tested to the max
Then I found the dictionary again in her room. This time I really got so pissed off and waited till the kids is napping then I went into her room and "counsel" her using the dictionary. When I asked her why she never ask my permission she told me "I DUNNO ENGLISH". I said "What? you dunno english. Thern everyday what language you used to speak to me?" Then she kept quiet. Then I used the dictionary to point at every single word I said to her, making sure she fully understand what I say. Cannot understand English then read khmer. Then I asked her "You know that I will be angry if you take my things right?" She say "YES". Then I asked her " Then you purposely take to make me angry?" she replied.... YES!
Then I talk to her about her taking my nail polish: she admitted she used my nail polish
I talk to her about her not returning the mirror: She say she purposely didn't return it
Then I talk to her about her taking my hub's new diary calendar: >she admitted she took without asking.
Then I talk to her about not doing her things : She admitted.
I talk to her about her sleeping in the toilet : she admitted.
Many many things she admitted and she looked surprised that I know many things.
Then I asked her "After so many things you have done wrong. Do you have anything you want to say to me?" She say "NO. Nothing". I said you don't know how to say "Sorry?" And I flipped to the word sorry in the dictionary. And she read and she say "NO!" I said Cambodians don't say sorry wan izit? She replied YES.
Despite her irritating me like that, I maintained my coolness. I never shout at her. I continued to talk until she cried and finally said "I AM SORRY MAAM".
And she became good?
Wait.. cerita belum habis...
she avoided me for that day and the next day. The next day she just went off to sleep after dinner. Never help me with preparing the kids for bed. She just placed their pajamas and diapers on my bed. And that night I remember very well was Tuesday night. Because it was supposed to be our pasar malam night and Jayden was fussing at night and couldn't sleep because we didn't goto pasar malam. And Jayden fussed till 1.30 am and he started to cough. So Big C brought Jayden downstairs to feed him cough medicine and he came backinto our room and told me "She is using the air cond! How?" I said "Knock the door and ask her to come out NOW!" and he did and he can hear that she offed the main switch and then only open the door. Big C asked her "WHY YOU ON AIR COND AND SLEEP?" she replied " I NO ON AIR COND". Big C asked her "you come outside and feel this room , so hot. Your room so cold. And you say you never on air cond? You never on who on? On by itself ar?" She stratched her head. And he said "CANNOT ON" and she closed the door.
I asked my hub, you just let her go off just like that ?
he told me "yeah. can see her face so guilty. she don't dare to do it again". No need to nag her and keep teling her is wrong because she alreday know.
3.0 You all believe ah? You believe? I don't.
And you know what? Big C told me the way I counselled her is wrong. Say I should just "point the mistake, tell her don't do it anymore" and she will listen. You guys think so? Tell me. What I'm so angry about is she treated me like as if I'm stupid and she's so damn smart and worst my husband said that I'm wrong.
Now, I told Big C that I wanted to install cctv because I totally don't trust this woman or whatever you wanna call her anymore.Big C told me
1. No point install cctv. She will feel that she don't have freedom and she wont be motivated to work.
2. Don't scold too long. Just point out her mistake and ask her don't repeat it.
3. Don't check on her too much, give her opportunity to show us what she can do.
4. Just give her the task and let her handle the way she want to do it.
I said I'm worried that she might harm us by putting things in our food and Big C say "Nolah.........." and i told him about someone sent the tea to pathlab and tested there was period blood in the tea and he went like "Yakah?" You see? He never hear all these stories before so he doesn't understand how I feel.
I said she didn't eat the fish I left for her. Maybe she did something to the fish. He said NO LA...
I said She doesn't drink the soup and he said "We also don't drink soup la". What????? Just because of her we don't drink soup?
And I mention that she can put liquid detergent in our kid's milk nd he say NOLAAAAAA got bubbles wan mah. I think he dunno, now washing powder got low sud, bleach got no bubbles. Everyday put lil bit by the time you realize she was poisoning your kid, maybe its too late. I'm not taking the risk. My kids we're talking about here.
And because of that woman, we argued. We argued many times. When I said "Okay, I let you deal with her. I'm not going to scold her anymore" . He told me " I have enough problem at work edi". Then how?????? Scold, I am wrong wor. Don't scold, let him scold he said he also got problem. How? You tell me?
So please..... please share with HIM about your experiences with your beloved maid, especially cambodian maids.
Also I would like to know:
1. have you ever send your maid for "COUNSELING".
2. Did they change after the counseling session.
3. Do you know what the agency did to the maid during counseling session.(eg scold, whack, etc)
I told Big C that once I send her out for counselling, I don't want her anymore. She will come back and harm my kids. And expected answer from him "NOLAAAHHHHHHHHHHH Won't wan la" Arghhh!!! *Pull Hair*