I thought I better separate what I wanna write from Justin's 2nd month post below.Cos what I'm about to write is not a happy post.
We went to another doctor last night cos our doctor wasn't around. Justin coughed very badly till his face turned red. Jayden coughed like his lungs was falling out. I? I felt like I wanna pengsan anytime but cannot. The doctor held Justin abit, looked at the ear abit. Doctor also spoke and played with Jayden abit, gave him some candies and prescribed some medicine. And the damage was RM210! And what was the medicine? Fever, Flu, Cough, Nose drop for BOTH my kids, Some stuff for ulcer. Must be some super medicine huh? And the medicine was exactly the same as the one we took from Yenjai the day before. The nurse asked us to throw it away! Print money on trees izit? Anyway Big C went home and he was grumbling the whole night and he asked me to blog about it. Naah blog edi la.
Both of us are standing at the verge, going to suicide anytime. Jayden is really really testing our patience. I don't know about you guys, I get very very paranoid if he doesn't eat or drink. Some ppl say "it's okay wan...he dun feel like eating ma". But then by the time he recover , still alive or not??? Tinggal tulang la! So, the shouting goes on, the crying goes on, neighbours must be thinking.. the people in this house is like some mental human got escaped from tanjung rambutan. When he cry next to me, i just stare at him. Or sometimes just look atthe wall. I'm trying sobad not to whack him but then many times I cannot tahan. Now when I talk, I sound like I'm shouting. Big C ask me " why you shout at me". Wtf, my voice vol automatic is like shouting edi.
I havent been working for many days. How to work? I don't even get to rest. Last night, I think I pengsaned for a while. I dreamt that I went to holiday ALONE. And I was snapping picture using my dslr. The view was fantastic. I was busy snapping away without thinking about anyone else. So carefree then.....Justin cried for milk. Yeah, dream only. Think about it also make me wanna cry out loud now. I'm SO DAMN TIRED AND DEPRESSED! But then, what for wanna rant and cry? Still gotto go on with my life right?
But then I still wanna rant and cry cos it's my blog what. At least I felt better after I get it all out from me otherwise I go Gila. So sekian terima Kasih. If I'm still alive or sane, I'll come back and blog.