I was thinking if I should blog about this or not cos it involves some family members but it's just my own sadness, so why not eh? I am not blaming anyone or angry at anyone that I'm about to blog about, it's just what I think about and I need to get it out so that I can forget about it, until I read it again in my blog when I get older (by then i hope my blog is still around and I can remember my own blog url)
We're at my sil's house last weekend. So the adults were chatting downstairs and the kids played together upstairs. That was what supposed to happen and I thought was happening.
So the kids came down and they started cracking some joke and I noticed that my own kids weren't among the kids who's downstairs. So I went up and I saw my kids playing with Thomas train in my nephew's room.
So I asked Jayden "How come you never join A and YM kor kor?" He said "they locked the door". So I thought okay.. maybe they have different interest and so I need to encourage them to play together. So I waited for them to come up and they did. They went to the other room and locked the door and laughed and giggled very loudly.
I went and knocked on the door and they opened the door and said "YES????" I said "what are you guys doing here?" and they answered that they are playing some house game and using a matress as the kitchen wall. So I briefly asked them "How come you never ask Jayden and Justin to play together?" And they replied "Don't want. later he come and push our tilam down". As she said that , Jayden took a peek and they all screamed "NO!!!!!!!! Don't let him see!"
Aiks.. see also cannot.
Then Jayden poke poke me and told me "Mami I just want to see for a while".
So I told them, "okay, let jayden see for a while okay? I will be here to see him"
So Jayden went in, walked one round around the room and got out from the room.
So did I.
and they closed the door again.
So I looked at both my kids playing Thomas Trains all by themselves.
Jayden talk to Justin, Justin talk to Jayden.
I was thinking, rejected again but what to do. Different channel.
But luckily they have each other and they have the same interest otherwise so kesian gotto play alone.
Again, I need to highlight that I am not angry with the kids for rejecting my kids. Kids are kids. They do things like this but I felt pity for my 2. That's all.
OMG!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way as you! When I go to my relo's houses for dinner or what..their kids..will purposely play amongst themselves...and not with mine.
Sigh..i feel so sad, when i see two of them, playing alone, in big big house.
:(
This thing happen at my house too where the korkor jiejie rejected the meimei. It's always like that when they have their friends over. JS & her friend lock WH and JL out, but sometimes let JL in and totally shunned boy. When WH and his friend around, they look meimei out.
ReplyDeleteYou are right - kids are kids. And kids are not diplomatic. Maybe we don't wish for them to be diplomatic. Don't feel so sad. Think of it as training for real life when rejections take on other shapes and sizes.
ReplyDelete=( so sad lor..i was kinda rejected also when i was a kid.
ReplyDeletenvm..they will have their own bunch of friends that they can hang out with better! heheh
Sasha, it happens. Amber is a single child and she has no one to play with, so naturally, at parties,she'd want to play with other kids but the older ones will reject her and make her feel very bad. They'll purposely play PSP and not let her see. See also cannot !! I almost blow my top, wanna strangle the other kids. I took it very personally and talked to other moms, and they told me they too experienced the same, so I guess it part of their growing up. Guess what ? Now, I think Amber picks up those bad habits and starts to form gang of her own and bully younger kids.. haih....very sien.. this kinda situation. to scold also cannot, not to scold also cannot tahan.
ReplyDeletewell, look at it this way, "rejected" now makes them more resilient than if they were to face rejection later in life... so its okie... teach them to make their game so fun that the cousins wanna join them instead ;-)
ReplyDeleteyour kids will not feel the rejection so much as we adults too.. i feel it is the age... once your kids are bigger in age, they will be accepted or they are the ones who do the accepting by then...
ReplyDeleteim also the rejected one last time .my sis n my cuzzie will gang up against me coz i was the manja one for the adults!lol
ReplyDeleteMost of us outgrown it and now we're all very close, so let's hope it will be the same for jd and jt!:D
im also the rejected one last time .my sis n my cuzzie will gang up against me coz i was the manja one for the adults!lol
ReplyDeleteMost of us outgrown it and now we're all very close, so let's hope it will be the same for jd and jt!:D
I've faced this situation many times and it's worse cos Ashley has no siblings to play with when the other children reject her. This tend to happen with older kids. I think they don't like to play with kids younger than them. I'll tell Ashley it's ok, she can play by herself or I'll accompany her :( *heartbreaking*
ReplyDeleteOMG>....poor boys!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't be sad...that is kids,sometimes no chemistry,that's y they can't click to each other.
I was the "rejected" one when I was young being the youngest and four years younger than the second youngest and eight years younger than the eldest. The rest had 1 or 2 years age gap difference between them. Never got to join in the fun and games. Always told to go to bed earlier and cannot join the older ones etc. Cannot talk when others are talking. I think... as a result, I became rather taciturn. But now I can talk as much as I want on my 3 blogs. (probably to make up for it) lol.
ReplyDeleteI was the rejected one when young. Dun know why ppl dont like to fren me..even up to secondary school.. that why now i dont hv many friends :(
ReplyDeleteso i really really appreciate my blogger friends..
anyway good thing Jayden and Justin can play together sooo well...
ReplyDeleteAiyah, its ok lah. Kids dunno how to be "diplomatic" mah and make sure everyone is having a good time. Part & parcel of being a kid lah i guess. Last time me lagi teruk. Only girl among 5 or 6 boys (cousins). No body want to fren me leh. If they fren me also ah, they ask me to hold the kite at one end so that I can release it for them & they fly high high! hahahha.
ReplyDeleteSasha, i feel the same way as you too. But look at the bright side, at least Jayden and Justin are playing with one another. They love each other :)
ReplyDeleteKids are kids, so forgive ur SIL kids :) If this really bother you or ur kids, u can try to talk with ur SIL and find out why her kids doesn't want to play together with ur s Js. Be happy, it's Friday todya!
hmmm.... i felt pity for both J's too. But like what you said, after all they just kids!!!
ReplyDeleteI can understand how you feel Sasha, and what you felt also very normal. My girls too will come to tell me that her friends don't want to play or talk to her. I will feel sad for her too. Like you said, kids are kids. We have to teach our kids to share and play together.
ReplyDeleteit happened to my kids before but nvmd la, sometimes really, dif channel. but if its because they dont like or hate my kids then lain cerita lor
ReplyDeletei hearrrr you.
ReplyDeletethank goodness the two j's have each other. they're very very blessed for this fact.
gibran gets ostracized by his cousins quite often too. and it saddens me so much because.. well, gibran doesnt have anyone else to play with. the only thing i can do when he cries about it is to hug and kiss him and tell him that tomorrow he'll see his friends in school and then he can have some fun. sighh.
*sigh* This always happens. Mean kids. Anyway, J&J weren't alone. They had each other & better to have each other than to play with mean kids! It's also good that they learn rejection now cuz for every knock they take, they only get tougher. I always tell T1, it's ok. We'll play something else or you'll find some better friends than that. And I'll explain to her that what they are doing is mean & that she should never do it. Also, explain that sometimes there are mean people in this world but that doesn't mean we need to let them spoil our day! Let's get ahead of the game & have more fun!
ReplyDeleteSo far so good tat my 2 dds no rejection fr my 16yrs old niece & her friends too. All of them loves 2 play wit Sasha & Myra when they see them. Luckily my 2 cousin sis kids also almost d same aged with them, so all 5 of them can get along very well too.
ReplyDeleteBut there was one incident which make me n Sasha very sad. I & Sasha had lunch 2gether with a friend of mine n her dd. Both of them played very well but later her dd told Sasha tat she doesn't want to befriend Sasha coz Sasha has germs. Sasha was crying n came to tell me, then I asked her dd why, n she said Sasha having an occasion cough tat y she can't friend Sasha due to she has germs.
Later I found out that is my friend who taught her daughter those ppl cough or flu are germs. I really mad in my heart with this friend and I think is so rude to teach a child talk like this.
Last time when CE was smaller, XY and CH (cousin bro) don't like to play with him. Luckily he's the lone ranger type so he's ok.
ReplyDeleteBut now that he's older, he's accepted into the "gang" edi. It's us adults who asked them to play separately coz they're making too much noise together.
it's normal to feel sad when being rejected more so for d parents :(
ReplyDeleteu r good edi....coz if for me i'll curi-curi scold them, lol