Monday, March 11, 2013

Asperger: Dealing with bullies

Ah.... yes. One of the most common issue when you have an Aspie kid with you.  It's either they are the bully (cos many of them don't know what they are doing it wrong, and they don't know that the other party is pain or sad) or they are the victim and most of the time they will do whatever the bully asked them to do cos they want to be accepted as a friend.

So I went to JD's sch on Friday and found out that JD was upset the day before. His teacher told me that he got bullied by this boy and the classmate told her that it's not the first time he bullied JD. This time was because the bully tried to poke JD's face with pencil and when JD snatched away the pencil, he got angry and took JD's book and threw it to the floor. Surprisingly, JD didn't burst into meltdown. He went over to pick the book up but his face turned red after that. His class teacher who saw the whole commotion , who also knew about JD is an Aspie, quickly go over and told him to calm down and tell her what happened (although she saw she just wanted JD to learn how to express himself). JD manage to calm down and told her about it. So all of them went to the principal's office and the boy, got a good smack on his palm.

The teacher told me that she can see that JD has improved and he is able to control his emotions which is very good and it's another milestone for him and her cos she learnt how to help him. Probably that's also another reason why she refused to give him the "special card" ( for kids with special case) after his old one went missing.

But the bullying didn't start or stop from there. That friday night, as usual before sleep the kids will ask for bedtime story. That night, I made up a story about a bully in school and suddenly he said "You know.. he always bully me". I said "who?" and he said "nothing". So I continued the story and finally he told me everything. It's sad, to know that he has been going through that without me knowing, but I'm glad at last he told me (after much talking and making up stories :P )  and I told him "you need to tell me so that I can teach you how to handle bullies in school".

Initially I just told him to say "NO!" and then tell the teacher if he didn't stop. But when I went to take out books from his bag , I saw a piece of paper crumpled really badly in his bag and he told me "Oh... he did it!" That is after the boy got punished by the principal and he dare to do it again. So that's it. I asked him to write a letter of all the thing that kid did to him cos he has problem expressing himself (he can but he need a long time thinking) and pass it to the teacher.

I told him "JD, I know you want to have friends. But then good friends love us, not hurt us and likes to see us sad. What he did is wrong, did you know? So don't ever let him take advantage of you. If he does it again, tell him that you will tell teacher or you tell him My-Mother-Will-Come-And-Look-For-You-Later". I forgot to tell Jayden to tell him that "MY MOTHER IS A MONSTER!" *LOL* Joking!

This is one of the most important thing that we must teach our kid whether they are Aspie or not. This is one of the life skill that they must acquire, cos there are too many evil people out there who likes to take advantage and use other people to the max.


  1. you are the greatest, Sasha ... JD is coping well in the school all because of you .. bravo!!

  2. Hi Sasha! I've been following your blog coz u write so nicely and so honestly too. It's really sad to know that JD has Asperger. All I know about it is when I watch the sitcom on tv where they have a kid who has Aspie. So sad too that JD has been bullied at school. As a mom to 2yo and 2mo, I also don't want my kids to be dreading school coz of bully problem. But it's good that you're teaching JD to tell u if he got bullied. I surely will raise the roof with the bully's mom if I knew my kid got bullied! *touch wood*