The Rice In The Nose

Lion eat people?

Was feeding JT lunch in JD's sch canteen when we heard a lion dance commotion.


JT: is that lion dance?
Me: yeap.
JT: does the lion eat people?
Me: hmm.... Only the naughty ones.
JT: then we better NOT go there
Me: why? Do you think you are naughty?
JT: *head down and nod nod* the lion give angpow?
Me: only to the good ones. The bad ones they will swallow them up
JT: O_O !!!

So we went and he was pulling me away and said No mami!!!no! And we saw the lion's back dancer carried a boy under the lion's cape. I said "poor boy! Must be too naughty. Luckily the lion spit him out and he's a good boy now".

JT just nod nod and said "luckily it's over now"

*lol* you should see his facial expression then. 

Do you know why he was so afraid? Cos his teacher just told me that he took out the homework that he was supposed to do at home and told his teacher "I don't wanna do homework. I hate homework" And he thought he really didn't bring the homework back. He didn't know that his teacher put the book back and told his evil mom about his plan. *lol*

Yes, me and the crappy things I say to my kids.

How come you know wan?

JD's sch had a mini celebration with lion dance right before cny. When he came back I asked him what happened in sch and he said "nothing...nothing" and then I said

"let me guess. got 2 lions..right? and they play the drum like this *lion dance drum humming-tak tong chiang, tong chiang tong chiang chiang chiang* and then the back guy will lift the front guy up, and then the front guy will open and close the lion mouth right? and then the lion ate some oranges and then he spit out the oranges , it was nicely opened up right???" 

He was shocked that I know and he went "how come you know wan?".  and I said "cos I'm your mother lor. I know everything you do wan...".

Chewah. like real.

The crappy stuff that I tell my kids, unbelievable.

Of crisis and weeds.

Always believe that guys should also be taught to do house and gardening chores from young so that they won't leave it all to the wife in the future. I don't Want my DIL to Curse me :p

Anyway, So yesterday I Asked JD to help me pull the weeds in my garden and he did..

JD: what am I doing?

Me: you're weeding.

JD: what happens if we never weed the weeds?

Me: then the garden will have alot of weeds growing and then they will multiply and fill this garden up with alot of weeds.

JD: *worried* then you will have a weed crisis!!!!

Me: exactly! So you must pull till the roots come out.

JD: ....... So how do you smoke this weed?

Me: huh? Smoke this weed?

JD: ya. You smoke the weeds. This is weeds right?

Me: *slap forehead- damn YouTube and smosh videos!!" no this is not the weed that ppl smoke AND... Any type of weeds are BAD! This one that grows in my garden and also the ones people smokes. Those are drugs. It's bad bad for you. Ok?

JD: oh.. Ok. Bad for brains ah?

Me: yes. For brains. For lungs. Everything. It will kill you.

Aiyoh the things they learn via YouTube! Why cant they teach more positive stuff?

Why they don't know me?

I was preparing something in the kitchen and suddenly JD ran down looking rather sad and said ..

JD: mami mami.. Come I show you something in the computer

Me: why? I'm busy right now.

JD: I went to google and type nciku like you.

Me: oh what did you type? You tell me here lah

JD: Then I wrote 曾健若 and they say no match found. Why they don't know me mami? Why?

Me: *lol* of course lah. You are not a thing ma. You are a person and there are so many people in this world. How to know everyone?

JD: then what can I find?

Me: find someother things lor. Like big dog? Small dog. Anything lah.

JD: okay!

Haha aiyoh this son.. *shake head*