The lil gifts

He used to tell me that he doesn't have any friends when he was in kindy. After 3 years, finally he has ONE friend in kindy and then they moved on to std1 and he has NO friends again. *haha*

So this year he started to have friends to play with during recess and it was a big relief for me. And now he has his own set of friends at the playground. That's another big relief. And recently he told me ...

JD: C gave this to me.

Me: oh... She gave everyone or only you? 

JD: only people who sit same row as her

Me: ah nice..... :D

And then another day he came home and shows me this...

Me: oh ! paper airplane!

JD: L.A gave this to me

Me: nice! Why he suddenly gave you this?

JD:  ermm I don't know. He just gave it to me.

And the same boy offered him some food when I picked him up after school. My son was very happy taking the food and forgot to thank him. As usual I have to say "b... I think you forgot to say something" and he said "xie xie"

And then he came back and he told me
JD: today I took someone's things

Me: oh no... Why? 

JD: I don't know.

Me: how can you not know why you take ppl's things?

JD: cos.... She push it to me. So I take it. 

Me: *lol* you mean she push it to you, to give you, and you took it.

JD: ya. The cake. *showed me this*

Me: then what about this and that? 

JD: I also took that from her. I mean she GAVE me.

Me: oh so nice lah yr friend. But did you say thank you? 

JD: ermm I forgot... Again.

You know, it meant a lot to me and to him I receive small small gifts like these from his friends. I don't know if I'm being crazy or what, it's like finally they have accepted him and starting to like him. Otherwise why they give him things right? *syiok sendiri mode* 

Pencils

There was once when I found JD having a meltdown and crying in the canteen after school. I kept asking him what happened and he just said "pencil.... pencil........" and "keep breaking.......". Then I found out that all his pencils kept breaking and he couldn't catch up copying what teacher said. When he calmed down, then I found out there was another reason (as usual), it was related to the pencil, and it is also related to the pencil lead kept breaking but the real reason was because the bully in his class laughed at him and called him names when he couldn't copy in time. His teacher knew about him, and she told him do not worry. She helped him to write the words in his book to be done as homework. So that night, I taught him how to deal with pencils (bring more la, and also change the sharpener, and be careful not to drop the pencils and also when no choice, he can use his black colour pencil to write) and also how to deal with the bully ( just act like as if the bully is crazy laughing by himself and not care what he says, learn to say "So What????").

Few days ago, he told me that he needed help with his homework. When he opened up his book, I asked him which part he doesn't know how to do and he said :

JD: dunno? I never copy

Me: how do you expect me to help you, if you didn't copy the question??Where is the question from? Textbook?

JD: .... No. Blackboard..

Me: What!!!!!! How am I supposed to help you now? Why didn't you copy the question?!!!

JD: Because....... All my pencil broke. So I cannot copy. :(

Me: *blood boil* AGAIN????? My God! I gave you 5 pencils and all of it is broken? And you have your emergency pencil box with another 2 more pencils inside. This is not the first time that this happened. You know very well you can use your black colour pencil to write too right?!Tomorrow, you go to school and copy from C. Do you understand me? Or you tell yr teacher that you didn't copy on time because your pencil broke......(*mumble to myself* Kek sei ngo lor.... Really make me

High blood pressure. Wanna explode edi...)

And then he said "mami.........." and he gave me this. Then he told me that he was too worried and forgotten about the extra pencil and his black colour pencil.

*sigh* *breath in breath out*

And then I gave him 10 pencils to bring to school everyday. What to do? keep reminding him about it and probably a few more times, then maybe he will remember.

From "That Boy" To "Jayden"

I have not been actively bringing them to the playground cos I was either busy working or cooking before I pick him up from school and I'll usually just bring him home right after school. But since he stopped attending one-to-one therapy session, and Dr. advised to let him mix more or attend group social therapy (only once a month), I guess going to the playground is the best option besides another bigger social group therapy (which is his school. We figure that being in school for more than 5 hours each day is better training than attending once a month and expensive therapy :P )

So before I pick him up, I have to cook faster, work faster, clean the house faster so that everything will be done before that. And right after school it's playground time. At first, everyone ignored him and his brother. With a lil help from me to introduce him to the rest of the peeps and showing him how to ask if he can play along/join in, finally he blend in.

There were times when he had minor meltdowns in the playground when some kid scolded him for not knowing how to play certain games and also when he cannot kick the ball properly. Once, he was crying cos he hit some kids and they complaint about him hitting them. But when I asked him why he did so he said "we were playing bad guy and good guy. They asked me to be bad guy. I thought bad guys hit people? So I hit them. But they scold me when I hit them! Mami, how to play and be bad guy???" .  

All these scenario is sad, but it's okay cos it's part of the "real challenge". So we will go home, and I will talk to him before we sleep and teach him what to do next time. Like the bad guy scenario I have to acknowledge his feeling (I know you were upset about what happened in playground today. But can you tell me why did you hit them?) and then teach him to just "pretend to shoot them". And he said "oh... that's how you be bad guy?" I am glad he listened to me and  knows how to improve himself.

One thing that we need to do each time before we go to the playground is to remind him of the "rules". For example: no showing tongue, no pushing, no arguing, no crying, must play with other ppl and not ownself. However he got used to it after some time and he began to tell me the rules even before we step into the playground now.

It has been about near to 2 months since we go to the playground everyday after school and he really look forward to go and play with his FRIENDS. Finally, he can call them friends and not just "those people". Maybe he is happy that he finally got accepted and got invited to play along rather than just walking around nearby hoping to be invited and get real sad when we're on our way home.

Yesterday, he played so happily and when we were getting into our car, two of his friends said "BYE JAYDEN!!! BYE JAYDEN!" and he said "BYE SHAUN! BYE DAVID!" And they went "BYE JAYDEN! BYE JAYDEN!" and he said :"BYE SHAUN! BYE DAVID" and they went "BYE JAYDEN!" and he said "haiyer.. why they say so many times bye?" *lol* when nobody said bye he said he has no friends. But friends say bye for too many times, he said they say it too many times. But I know deep inside, he was very happy.

P/S: so am i. :D

Brinjal

I used to have one brinjal plant given by the nursery lady but it didn't survive. And then I restarted growing some with seeds. And I waited so long for it to grow cos it was stunted. And finally I have my first brinjal grown from seed. A Terung Giant Naga Putih. Was attacked by aphids but I manage to save it using Neem Oil (you can buy from Indian Sundry Shop) + Dishwashing Liquid + Water. Still waiting to harvest it :P

And then my other brinjal plant bought from Pasar Tani Kelana Jaya grew and gave me a fruit. This was the growing process from day to day. Amazing isn't it? 

And to my surprise, I got another brinjal grew out of nowhere.

 And it's flowering now. Brinjal plant has both male and female reproductive organs in the same flower. So if there is a helpful insect rumming around that particular flower, then I will be lucky to get brinjals. :)