Showing posts with label NeNeBuBu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NeNeBuBu. Show all posts
Friday, September 28, 2012
In My Head- 28 Sept 2012
Every morning I'd walk my kids into the school, drop their bags in their classrooms and send them to the assembly hall. Once they are in the room, the younger one quickly grabbed his gf's hand and started to whisper *sweat* and the elder one quietly looked for his best friend and then he pulled my hand he said "Mami.. he is there" He smiled, gave me a hug and quickly squeeze himself next to his best friend, sat so near that he actually squashed the poor fella. I quietly looked and then I wonder what is going to happen to him next year when they go separate ways? Then I thought he just gotto make new friends and it worries me.
I always asked my son to make new friends. He'd say "but he doesn't want to friend me". And I'd say "nevermind, then go and find some other ppl that likes you". And he said "but I like to be his friend". Ahhh the rejected feeling. Had it and still dealing with it. How am I supposed to tell him that it's okay, when his own mother is dealing with the same problem?
I can tell him a thousand times "not everyone will like you. But it's okay. We will go find some other ppl that will appreciate you". But that feeling that we-like-someone-but-that-someone-doesn't-like-you, I guess no one will know unless you're in the same position. It's really sad and hard to forget. But I guess time will heal. And I hope the time comes real quick, for the both of us.
Monday, August 15, 2011
If You don't stand up for your son, who else is going to do it?
Last year around this time, hub and I both got into a heated argument. I remember very well that it was after Justin's birthday party. Someone made a remark about Jayden. He asked "why Jayden likes to play train only? Why he doesn't play with other people? Why he likes to spin like that ? Why Why Why" So hub told me that night that maybe we should get Jayden checked and something is wrong with him. I cried, of course. I cried more cos "someone" said that my house is messy and made the kids brain is messy too. So I cleaned the house at 12.30am until 3 am. I cleaned the damn house until it's speck clean and I fell asleep on the sofa cos I took sleeping medicine, knowing that I will be extremely active after cleaning the house.
The next day, I thought if he has something wrong I will get help for him. So I went and observe other kids in his class. I noticed that not only him has that characteristics. Some kids only talk to certain people. Some kids talk to every tom, dick, and harry.Then onwards I became an observer until today I am still doing it. The way he hold pencil , used to be wrong. But so many is wrong. So everyone is not right is it? Then onwards, I told myself if someone gotto stand up for him before he can stand up for his own, then it's gotto be ME.
This year, the same boy made the same remark. He asked me "Why Jayden doesn't like to play with other people wan?" I asked him back "do you play with everyone?" He said "No. Only some people that I like". "Then why Jayden cannot play with whoever he likes?" He said "but he only play with his brother". I said "But Justin is his best friend. Why he cannot play with his best friend?" He then ask "why he only like trains?" I asked him back "What do you like?" He said "PSP and PS3 games lor" "Then why not you like other things?". I asked him back "why don't you like other things besides PSP and PS3?" He replied "cos its boring". "So maybe Jayden also think that other things besides trains are boring too?". He said "yeah hor...then why he likes to spin". I said "when I was small I used to spin like that. And I think its nice , and after you stop you will see the world is spinning . Its funny la. Why cannot is it?" He said "No.. No..".
Then onwards, he never ask anything and he began to play with Jayden.
Then his dad said that the way he writes his name is weird. I went and check out others, few kids writes the same way.
When he gets excited he will start to jump and then hold his birdie. Of course I went and observe, guess how many of his classmates are doing that?
About spinning, I noticed that a few of his friends are doing it too. I used to do it, why can't he do it? What spin also against the law ah now?
So you see, people likes to talk, judge and simply say things. But it is my duty to stand up for him when someone tried to kill him with words.If not me, then who else, right?
The next day, I thought if he has something wrong I will get help for him. So I went and observe other kids in his class. I noticed that not only him has that characteristics. Some kids only talk to certain people. Some kids talk to every tom, dick, and harry.Then onwards I became an observer until today I am still doing it. The way he hold pencil , used to be wrong. But so many is wrong. So everyone is not right is it? Then onwards, I told myself if someone gotto stand up for him before he can stand up for his own, then it's gotto be ME.
This year, the same boy made the same remark. He asked me "Why Jayden doesn't like to play with other people wan?" I asked him back "do you play with everyone?" He said "No. Only some people that I like". "Then why Jayden cannot play with whoever he likes?" He said "but he only play with his brother". I said "But Justin is his best friend. Why he cannot play with his best friend?" He then ask "why he only like trains?" I asked him back "What do you like?" He said "PSP and PS3 games lor" "Then why not you like other things?". I asked him back "why don't you like other things besides PSP and PS3?" He replied "cos its boring". "So maybe Jayden also think that other things besides trains are boring too?". He said "yeah hor...then why he likes to spin". I said "when I was small I used to spin like that. And I think its nice , and after you stop you will see the world is spinning . Its funny la. Why cannot is it?" He said "No.. No..".
Then onwards, he never ask anything and he began to play with Jayden.
Then his dad said that the way he writes his name is weird. I went and check out others, few kids writes the same way.
When he gets excited he will start to jump and then hold his birdie. Of course I went and observe, guess how many of his classmates are doing that?
About spinning, I noticed that a few of his friends are doing it too. I used to do it, why can't he do it? What spin also against the law ah now?
So you see, people likes to talk, judge and simply say things. But it is my duty to stand up for him when someone tried to kill him with words.If not me, then who else, right?
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Lost
First I lost my mojo to sew.
Then I lost my mojo to design.
And now I lost my mojo to blog.
I even lost my mojo to post in fb.
Vad's happening?
Then I lost my mojo to design.
And now I lost my mojo to blog.
I even lost my mojo to post in fb.
Vad's happening?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
TooT!
We're supposed to have a reno in our house. Supposed to do it like months ago. But got delayed because of so many issues. And the recent one seems so real, like IT IS GOING to happen. But it never did.
My contractor was supposed to work for me. But my neighbour's neighbour had been using my contractor at her house before he come over to work at mine. So one day, add one window. Then see, see, why not add another window. Then see samo, paint this wall. See samo, why not paint this wall also. Then see samo, why not we make a balcony like hers. Add ha.. Add ha.. it's like one freaking month and the fler is still adding more things. I got pissed and started to rant at my immediate neighbour about it. I said "i felt like going to him and tell him U slowly add la.. whole year add also nehmind. I find another guy to do my house". My neighbour, I think she felt sorry cos she was the one that passed my contractor's number to the other neighbour. So she quickly went and told the contractor about it. And then, the contractor told my husband that he's done with my neighbour and can start reno-ing our house the next day. But looking at the condition of my neighbour's house, we know it's not 100% done yet.
He came and measure and "YA, YA, YA, BOLEH" and I told him. YOU MUST finish this reno before chinese 7th month. And his eyes went big. I said "if you don't have confidence that you cannot finish on time, then postpone". But then I guess he wanted to secure the deal so he said "BOLEH".
So my hub and I quickly move the pots and pans into the living hall. Oh by the way, we're shifting the toilet which is located smack right in the middle of the house to the back corner to make way for a bigger dry kitchen. My hub moved the dining table to the side, all chairs up. Things all moved everywhere. I haven't been cleaning much cos what is the point right? Cos when u reno, one part of the house the entire house gets dirty. So clutter everywhere, dust.. Argh!
And then the day came and he sms "kereta rosak. Esok baru datang". NiaTooT ah!.
Fine.
2nd day, Kereta rosak again.
I told my hub you go and tell him, takpe. Hari hari rosak pun tak apa. Tak Payah Buat.
But of course my hub didn't say like that. He samo say, "tak apa la..buat lain hari la. Lepas Hari raya". I am surprised he didn't wished him Selamat Hari Raya also. :|
And u know what? right after my hub left my house, my neigbhbour called and told me that the contractor is at my neighbour's neighbour house. Probably collecting money. Oh.. kereta sudah baik kah? I never bother to ask. I just smsed my hub about it.
Then my neighbour went to "investigate". Chewah.. so professional! and found out that he is not done there. Still got more to do. But since my neighbour didn't pay him full, he also stopped his work. You wait for me, I wait for you. And then I wait for them. Sien or not?
And now the pots and pans are still in the living hall. The dining table is still at the wall with tones of stuff on it. Chairs stacked upside down. To clean or not to clean? The house is damn cluttered with things all over. I'm not a very "neat" person but then looking at the condition of the house, my brain gets cluttered. I come home (well, I am always home, right?) I see my house.. wah sien.... so sien.... Lepas hari raya wor.. Selamat Hari raya lor! Toot!
My contractor was supposed to work for me. But my neighbour's neighbour had been using my contractor at her house before he come over to work at mine. So one day, add one window. Then see, see, why not add another window. Then see samo, paint this wall. See samo, why not paint this wall also. Then see samo, why not we make a balcony like hers. Add ha.. Add ha.. it's like one freaking month and the fler is still adding more things. I got pissed and started to rant at my immediate neighbour about it. I said "i felt like going to him and tell him U slowly add la.. whole year add also nehmind. I find another guy to do my house". My neighbour, I think she felt sorry cos she was the one that passed my contractor's number to the other neighbour. So she quickly went and told the contractor about it. And then, the contractor told my husband that he's done with my neighbour and can start reno-ing our house the next day. But looking at the condition of my neighbour's house, we know it's not 100% done yet.
He came and measure and "YA, YA, YA, BOLEH" and I told him. YOU MUST finish this reno before chinese 7th month. And his eyes went big. I said "if you don't have confidence that you cannot finish on time, then postpone". But then I guess he wanted to secure the deal so he said "BOLEH".
So my hub and I quickly move the pots and pans into the living hall. Oh by the way, we're shifting the toilet which is located smack right in the middle of the house to the back corner to make way for a bigger dry kitchen. My hub moved the dining table to the side, all chairs up. Things all moved everywhere. I haven't been cleaning much cos what is the point right? Cos when u reno, one part of the house the entire house gets dirty. So clutter everywhere, dust.. Argh!
And then the day came and he sms "kereta rosak. Esok baru datang". NiaTooT ah!.
Fine.
2nd day, Kereta rosak again.
I told my hub you go and tell him, takpe. Hari hari rosak pun tak apa. Tak Payah Buat.
But of course my hub didn't say like that. He samo say, "tak apa la..buat lain hari la. Lepas Hari raya". I am surprised he didn't wished him Selamat Hari Raya also. :|
And u know what? right after my hub left my house, my neigbhbour called and told me that the contractor is at my neighbour's neighbour house. Probably collecting money. Oh.. kereta sudah baik kah? I never bother to ask. I just smsed my hub about it.
Then my neighbour went to "investigate". Chewah.. so professional! and found out that he is not done there. Still got more to do. But since my neighbour didn't pay him full, he also stopped his work. You wait for me, I wait for you. And then I wait for them. Sien or not?
And now the pots and pans are still in the living hall. The dining table is still at the wall with tones of stuff on it. Chairs stacked upside down. To clean or not to clean? The house is damn cluttered with things all over. I'm not a very "neat" person but then looking at the condition of the house, my brain gets cluttered. I come home (well, I am always home, right?) I see my house.. wah sien.... so sien.... Lepas hari raya wor.. Selamat Hari raya lor! Toot!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
*sniff*
Few nights ago, I asked Jayden to help me to bring the clothes up to his room.
Jayden: why? why I need to do so many things?
Me: because i am doing everything in this house alone. I cook, I clean, I wash clothes, Fold clothes, Wash this wash that, arrange, clean, arrange, clean. And all you all do is mess, I clean. Then you mess then I clean. If you don't help me, who else is going to help me? Once day I am going to die cleaning this house.
Jayden: mami.. don't worry. I will help you. *picked up folded shirt and went up to his room*
Justin: mami.. i also helping you. * picked one underwear and ran up*
Up and down they ran and they "helped" me to bring up all the folded clothes.
And I stood there, looking at them doing that.
I just wanna cry.
Cos I was touched.
Cos at least a 5 yr old and 2.5 yr old kid can see that I am sad and exhausted and tried to "help" me.
You noticed the word "HELP"?. Yeah, if you do anything in this house, it's called "HELP" cos its not their house. It's my house.
Jayden: why? why I need to do so many things?
Me: because i am doing everything in this house alone. I cook, I clean, I wash clothes, Fold clothes, Wash this wash that, arrange, clean, arrange, clean. And all you all do is mess, I clean. Then you mess then I clean. If you don't help me, who else is going to help me? Once day I am going to die cleaning this house.
Jayden: mami.. don't worry. I will help you. *picked up folded shirt and went up to his room*
Justin: mami.. i also helping you. * picked one underwear and ran up*
Up and down they ran and they "helped" me to bring up all the folded clothes.
And I stood there, looking at them doing that.
I just wanna cry.
Cos I was touched.
Cos at least a 5 yr old and 2.5 yr old kid can see that I am sad and exhausted and tried to "help" me.
You noticed the word "HELP"?. Yeah, if you do anything in this house, it's called "HELP" cos its not their house. It's my house.
Monday, March 28, 2011
TOUGH WEEK
I can say, it's been a hell of a week.
First it was Justin being diagnosed with Hernia. No. Not the big Swollen Kukujiao Type. Its this type.
So brought him all the way to the hosp and arranged for the surgery. And on the day I brought him to make appointment, Jayden was down with flu and cough. So big possibility Justin can't go for the op if he is infected. So then on the day of the op, he was alright. I didn't sleep properly cos I had to wake up at 4 am to feed him milk before he need to fast for 4 hours before the surgery. So I tried to sleep but end up waiting for my alarm to go on. And then by 7 am we're at the hosp. And right in front of the nurse, the kiddo sneezed ACHOOOOOOO! That's it. Operation cancelled cos they suspected that he is infected with flu. Rescheduled 2 weeks later. So in between then, I gotto make sure that they recover fast while rushing with my own design and sewing jobs. And of course, since the "king" is scheduled for op, we can't make him cry much. Cos each time he cries the hernia became so visible. So gotto "tahan/YAN" max with this terrible 2 behaviour.
On the day before the operation, I had diarrhea. Don't know what crap I ate that made me lausai the whole day. Then it was THE day of the ops. All is well. NO ONE IS COUGHING and NO ONE is SNEEZING. YAY! YAY MAX! So yeah he went and did the operation (story another day can? very tired and need to rant first)
So before that ,on the day of operation I didn't sleep again. I thought i heard my phone rang at 2 am but I was just hallucinating. Then my phone rang at 4 am. And then by 645am we're there even before the nurse came to work. And I was with him all the time (except when they potong him). I was so tired, mentally and physically. Ppl asked why didn't you sleep, why you never rest. Why why why why? Did i say I never tried? It's just the mind is worried.
So potong-ed on friday. And that day itself he was discharged and everyone happily went home. I slept like a BABY that night. Don't say sleep. Pangsai also like happier. And then Jayden started to cough. Damn. I hate it when he cough cos he'll get all phlegmy and then start to wheeze and then fever and la la la la the story goes on. And then he started to cough badly, then like how I expected, he became wheezy and was extremely cranky.
Bad timing. Aunt flo came but I think she had difficulty in landing. So like tersekat sekat cannot come out. So mom was extremely cranky too. You don't wanna mess with a mum with aunt flo got stucked half way and not coming properly!!!!
So while bathing Jayden last night, he was brushing his teeth. And before that, I washed justin poopy bum and accidentally left a lump on the floor.(yeah, faster point and say what kind of mother are you! How can that happen! :P) Guess what ? Jayden just had to go and use his toothbrush (should i highlight that its a thomas toothbrush?) and press onto the shit. ARGH!!!!!!!EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!OUMAIKOT!!!! was the thing that came out from my mouth. Really EXPLODE like mad. Scold. Scold.Scold.and scold samo!
Then at night his condition got worse. The entire day he was on liquid. Whatever that he eat, end up being vomited after each cough. So again, at night after his milk he vomited. And then he went to sleep and he was breathing very heavily and was crying the entire night. Of course, I didn't sleep. (again) . And then this morning first thing was change everyone and went to the hosp. The dr checked very thoroughly and even compared him and justin's body structure. So she said put him on this and that and asked me to come back on wed. I was thinking.. Aiyoh.. tomorrow already gotto come back for Justin's dressing for his hernia, wednesday come back again???? I can walk around this hosp with my eyes closed edi! So I told her can we come back tomorrow instead? and she agreed. So tomorrow morning will be a busy day for me cos I need to bring justin to check his stitches and then also bring jayden to see another dr to check his lungs.
Today after we got back from the hosp, I checked email and my customer replied. Work resume before my body T-KO which I know is SOON, very SOON! So i checked my design OH DAMN! I did the wrong design because I referred to the wrong design. I was so stressed the week before I referred to the wrong design. *slap forehead*
And at this moment, Jayden came down with his nose-bleeding. "Mami mami, my nose bleeding". I said "when did it started?" he said "after I drink the cough medicine! " he replied happily. I said "OUMAIKOT!!!!!! WHAT COUGH MEDICINE!!!!!!!" He said "WOODS!"
I screamed "ARE YOU CRAZY I told you not to drink any medicine yourself. I JUST GAVE YOU your medicine just now!!!!" and ran up to check the bottle.
True enough, the bottle is nearly empty. I quickly called Big C and he rushed back. Asked and asked him , how much you drink? how you drink? why you drink? and he just smiled and smile. *PULL HAIR* Then both of us calmed down asked again and asked him to demonstrate how much he drank and all, then we know he took 3 times more his dosage. But so far he is okay, never knock out or acting like gila.
Sometimes I wonder.. am I the only one with so drama motherhood story. Anyway, I just pray for everything to go on very s-m-o-o-t-h-l-y. Tomorrow after Justin's stitches being checked by dr and when Jayden recovers from his coughing, everything will be better. Right? I REALLY HOPE SO! if not I'll go mental.
But don't get me wrong. I am not unhappy being a mom. Seriously. Even though I have gone through so many dramatic incidents, I am happy. I may be tired physically and mentally, I may be complaining about my kids making me pull hair but seriously I am very happy with my boys (big and small ones). It's just everything happened at the same time and I have too much on my plate. That's why I dropped some off like my sewing and also my design to concentrate on my kids. Otherwise sure KO and masuk Tj. Rambutan
My kids are normally very active but then they are most of the time sweeter than choc. (That explains why I don't eat choc!) It's just because everything happened at the same time. Like how I started with this post... it's a tough week. Just hope tomorrow will be like Yenjai's sms to me.. tomorrow will be a better day, literally. *fingers crossed*
First it was Justin being diagnosed with Hernia. No. Not the big Swollen Kukujiao Type. Its this type.
So brought him all the way to the hosp and arranged for the surgery. And on the day I brought him to make appointment, Jayden was down with flu and cough. So big possibility Justin can't go for the op if he is infected. So then on the day of the op, he was alright. I didn't sleep properly cos I had to wake up at 4 am to feed him milk before he need to fast for 4 hours before the surgery. So I tried to sleep but end up waiting for my alarm to go on. And then by 7 am we're at the hosp. And right in front of the nurse, the kiddo sneezed ACHOOOOOOO! That's it. Operation cancelled cos they suspected that he is infected with flu. Rescheduled 2 weeks later. So in between then, I gotto make sure that they recover fast while rushing with my own design and sewing jobs. And of course, since the "king" is scheduled for op, we can't make him cry much. Cos each time he cries the hernia became so visible. So gotto "tahan/YAN" max with this terrible 2 behaviour.
On the day before the operation, I had diarrhea. Don't know what crap I ate that made me lausai the whole day. Then it was THE day of the ops. All is well. NO ONE IS COUGHING and NO ONE is SNEEZING. YAY! YAY MAX! So yeah he went and did the operation (story another day can? very tired and need to rant first)
So before that ,on the day of operation I didn't sleep again. I thought i heard my phone rang at 2 am but I was just hallucinating. Then my phone rang at 4 am. And then by 645am we're there even before the nurse came to work. And I was with him all the time (except when they potong him). I was so tired, mentally and physically. Ppl asked why didn't you sleep, why you never rest. Why why why why? Did i say I never tried? It's just the mind is worried.
So potong-ed on friday. And that day itself he was discharged and everyone happily went home. I slept like a BABY that night. Don't say sleep. Pangsai also like happier. And then Jayden started to cough. Damn. I hate it when he cough cos he'll get all phlegmy and then start to wheeze and then fever and la la la la the story goes on. And then he started to cough badly, then like how I expected, he became wheezy and was extremely cranky.
Bad timing. Aunt flo came but I think she had difficulty in landing. So like tersekat sekat cannot come out. So mom was extremely cranky too. You don't wanna mess with a mum with aunt flo got stucked half way and not coming properly!!!!
So while bathing Jayden last night, he was brushing his teeth. And before that, I washed justin poopy bum and accidentally left a lump on the floor.(yeah, faster point and say what kind of mother are you! How can that happen! :P) Guess what ? Jayden just had to go and use his toothbrush (should i highlight that its a thomas toothbrush?) and press onto the shit. ARGH!!!!!!!EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!OUMAIKOT!!!! was the thing that came out from my mouth. Really EXPLODE like mad. Scold. Scold.Scold.and scold samo!
Then at night his condition got worse. The entire day he was on liquid. Whatever that he eat, end up being vomited after each cough. So again, at night after his milk he vomited. And then he went to sleep and he was breathing very heavily and was crying the entire night. Of course, I didn't sleep. (again) . And then this morning first thing was change everyone and went to the hosp. The dr checked very thoroughly and even compared him and justin's body structure. So she said put him on this and that and asked me to come back on wed. I was thinking.. Aiyoh.. tomorrow already gotto come back for Justin's dressing for his hernia, wednesday come back again???? I can walk around this hosp with my eyes closed edi! So I told her can we come back tomorrow instead? and she agreed. So tomorrow morning will be a busy day for me cos I need to bring justin to check his stitches and then also bring jayden to see another dr to check his lungs.
Today after we got back from the hosp, I checked email and my customer replied. Work resume before my body T-KO which I know is SOON, very SOON! So i checked my design OH DAMN! I did the wrong design because I referred to the wrong design. I was so stressed the week before I referred to the wrong design. *slap forehead*
And at this moment, Jayden came down with his nose-bleeding. "Mami mami, my nose bleeding". I said "when did it started?" he said "after I drink the cough medicine! " he replied happily. I said "OUMAIKOT!!!!!! WHAT COUGH MEDICINE!!!!!!!" He said "WOODS!"
I screamed "ARE YOU CRAZY I told you not to drink any medicine yourself. I JUST GAVE YOU your medicine just now!!!!" and ran up to check the bottle.
True enough, the bottle is nearly empty. I quickly called Big C and he rushed back. Asked and asked him , how much you drink? how you drink? why you drink? and he just smiled and smile. *PULL HAIR* Then both of us calmed down asked again and asked him to demonstrate how much he drank and all, then we know he took 3 times more his dosage. But so far he is okay, never knock out or acting like gila.
Sometimes I wonder.. am I the only one with so drama motherhood story. Anyway, I just pray for everything to go on very s-m-o-o-t-h-l-y. Tomorrow after Justin's stitches being checked by dr and when Jayden recovers from his coughing, everything will be better. Right? I REALLY HOPE SO! if not I'll go mental.
But don't get me wrong. I am not unhappy being a mom. Seriously. Even though I have gone through so many dramatic incidents, I am happy. I may be tired physically and mentally, I may be complaining about my kids making me pull hair but seriously I am very happy with my boys (big and small ones). It's just everything happened at the same time and I have too much on my plate. That's why I dropped some off like my sewing and also my design to concentrate on my kids. Otherwise sure KO and masuk Tj. Rambutan
My kids are normally very active but then they are most of the time sweeter than choc. (That explains why I don't eat choc!) It's just because everything happened at the same time. Like how I started with this post... it's a tough week. Just hope tomorrow will be like Yenjai's sms to me.. tomorrow will be a better day, literally. *fingers crossed*
Monday, November 08, 2010
its one of those days
At this point in time.. I am a bit down. I have lost my direction of what I wanted to do.
And sometimes I don't know what I am doing or what I am good at anymore.
Then as you're moving along very fine, suddenly some ppl would pop up and give you sarcastic remarks like
"How much do you make? Enough or not?"
"Fuiyoh RICH LOR!!!!" (seriously???!! haha)
"Who's going to buy your stuff?" or "Got people buy or not?"
"For what susah susah sew and then sell? Why not just buy and sell?"
Yada
Yada
Yada
*yawn*
When they say it to me I'll think and say to myself "keep it coming babeh, the knife is already in my body. Just push in even deeper will ya?."
And so I have been thinking, for the past 2 weeks? ( or is it one week? I lost track)
What am I doing?
I am not spending much time with my kids.
I am not earning much. (YES SERIOUSLY!)
I am sewing so much that my shoulder and neck is so stiff.
But I am still doing it.
Still sewing but not very actively.
I am taking things more slowly now.
Enjoying life with my 2 kids.
I dragged my sewing machine and placed it right in front of my tv, I sew and watched tv a the same time while my kids run around me. Sometimes they would come for a fast peck on the lips or cheeks.
So everyday I just tell myself.. "Live everyday like its the first day I thought of the name "Sewing Monster". And as long as there is someone who buys and believe in my product, I will continue to sew.
My Ozzie Order ready to be shipped out. Thank you (you know who you are!) for believing in Sewing Monster!
And hopefully I will plant it deep into my brain and continue to pursue my dream.
Hopefully.
And sometimes I don't know what I am doing or what I am good at anymore.
Then as you're moving along very fine, suddenly some ppl would pop up and give you sarcastic remarks like
"How much do you make? Enough or not?"
"Fuiyoh RICH LOR!!!!" (seriously???!! haha)
"Who's going to buy your stuff?" or "Got people buy or not?"
"For what susah susah sew and then sell? Why not just buy and sell?"
Yada
Yada
Yada
*yawn*
When they say it to me I'll think and say to myself "keep it coming babeh, the knife is already in my body. Just push in even deeper will ya?."
And so I have been thinking, for the past 2 weeks? ( or is it one week? I lost track)
What am I doing?
I am not spending much time with my kids.
I am not earning much. (YES SERIOUSLY!)
I am sewing so much that my shoulder and neck is so stiff.
But I am still doing it.
Still sewing but not very actively.
I am taking things more slowly now.
Enjoying life with my 2 kids.
I dragged my sewing machine and placed it right in front of my tv, I sew and watched tv a the same time while my kids run around me. Sometimes they would come for a fast peck on the lips or cheeks.
So everyday I just tell myself.. "Live everyday like its the first day I thought of the name "Sewing Monster". And as long as there is someone who buys and believe in my product, I will continue to sew.
My Ozzie Order ready to be shipped out. Thank you (you know who you are!) for believing in Sewing Monster!
And hopefully I will plant it deep into my brain and continue to pursue my dream.
Hopefully.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Funny?
Does it sound funny to you?
You Very Old Edi la.
Yeah la.. you Housewife ma. Stay at home everyday until become Old edi.
Why are you so BUSY all the time?
Why so hard to ask you to come out and meet up?
Aiyah must know how to delegate ma..
Apparently some of my ex classmates thinks its funny while sarcastically saying it to me.
Yeah...so true. I am a housewife who doesn't have a life. I look old, I looked like crap, I am always busy, cleaning, cooking, cleaning the house and the kids, and I have nothing to brag about what I bought, How much is my salary, what car I wish I can buy and so on. But you know what? At least I'm not living under my parents armpit and smelling it.
Say whatever my friend, we'll see who will have the last laugh.
Monday, September 20, 2010
It's one of those days...
That I don't know what I am good at anymore.
And I don't know what I am doing although I have been working non stop for the pass 14 hours. No Inspiration to do anything.
Everything to me is like "half pail". Designing and also sewing.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Hopefully.
And I don't know what I am doing although I have been working non stop for the pass 14 hours. No Inspiration to do anything.
Everything to me is like "half pail". Designing and also sewing.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Hopefully.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
It All Starts From Home
Yesterday, I went to my dad's workshop. As I was driving into the parking lot, there were 2 dogs in front of my car. A tiny puppy and a bigger dog. Upon seeing my car moving towards them, the bigger dog quickly tried carry the puppy with its mouth to a safer spot. I was stunned. Because, the puppy doesn't belong to the bigger dog(cos they are my mum's dog so I know that they aren't related) and yet she is trying to save the baby.
It got me thinking how animals can protect their own or others and we human doesn't know how. It is so sickening to see nearly everyday a baby being dumped, dead or alive. If they are STILL alive when people found them, then they are lucky. Let's not talk about those that didn't make it , be it - still in one piece or half eaten by monitor lizard.
I have people asking me "Why not have a girl?Why not have the 3rd one?" And my answer to them is "Its not about the quantity. It's about the quality. It's not about making a baby, it's about whether I have enough attention for each and every of my kid or not, you know what I mean?" Many says that even the poor with very little pay can have a dozen of kids. Yes, I know. But how many of the ones from dozen turn out well? If you wanna know if they are going to turn out to be a fine young man/woman, just look at the parents. If the parents guide them well, of course. Cos It all starts from home.
Many questioned "to have sex education or not to have in school". Ding Dong Ding Dong. Why wait? Why can't we teach our own kids? Why wait for teachers to teach? I mean, do we really need teachers to teach everything? And don't even mention about the quality of teachers in Malaysia. We even have a headmistress that teaches students to call other races names in school openly. tsk..tsk...tsk...
We should teach our kid the meaning of life, to cherish life and also to respect others no matter what skin colour, religion, poor or rich. What I noticed with youngsters nowadays is that, they take life so lightly. Mat Rempits and Baby Dumpers are mostly youngsters. Imagine, these people are our future and they are doing all these stunts, be it "Superman" at highways or "breast-massage" session openly in school and they even share it proudly in Facebook. To them "eh aku suka la!". No shame, no sign of remourse, no fear. Die, die lah! Whatever!
To me, everything starts from home. Not only the parents, the relatives, the elder brother or sis can teach. I remember very clearly about the incident that I once threw the ice cream packaging into the drain. My sis asked me " Do you know it's wrong to throw rubbish everywhere?" I replied to her "Ah, its nothing la." She then taught me how long it takes for the rubbish to decompose and imagine if everyone throw one rubbish into the drain, do you know how much rubbish there will be in this drain and how bad is it going to be?" From then onwards, I make sure every rubbish ends up in the rubbish bin and I am now teaching it to my kids and niece and nephews.
So sometimes when I flip the newspaper and I wonder....blame it to the internet, blame it on TV, blame it on what what day celebration, Blame on the sky, Blame moon, blame everything la. My lecturer used to say, when you point at other people with ONE finger, you forgot that there are 4 fingers pointing back to yourself. Why blame everything but yourself? If the kid is so well guided from home, why is she pregnant and dumping babies now? I don't think there is any religion out there that teaches the person that its okay to dump babies, right?
You know, my english is not that good and I'm not so highly educated and definitely not perfect in anyways. But I can still teach my kids not to call people names, not to simply throw rubbish, and must wait in queue or say nicely when you need something. You don't need a PHD to teach that. We cannot teach other people's kid but we can teach our own. Let's not wait for someone to teach our kids, let's do it from home cos it's all start from home. Let's build a strong and proper foundation for our kids to guide them and hopefully the future is brighter for them.
P/S: I don't what made me posted this but its been ding dong-ing in my brain since I saw the big dog carrying the puppy. I better write it out cos it's taking too much of my memory space in my brain. *lol*
It got me thinking how animals can protect their own or others and we human doesn't know how. It is so sickening to see nearly everyday a baby being dumped, dead or alive. If they are STILL alive when people found them, then they are lucky. Let's not talk about those that didn't make it , be it - still in one piece or half eaten by monitor lizard.
I have people asking me "Why not have a girl?Why not have the 3rd one?" And my answer to them is "Its not about the quantity. It's about the quality. It's not about making a baby, it's about whether I have enough attention for each and every of my kid or not, you know what I mean?" Many says that even the poor with very little pay can have a dozen of kids. Yes, I know. But how many of the ones from dozen turn out well? If you wanna know if they are going to turn out to be a fine young man/woman, just look at the parents. If the parents guide them well, of course. Cos It all starts from home.
Many questioned "to have sex education or not to have in school". Ding Dong Ding Dong. Why wait? Why can't we teach our own kids? Why wait for teachers to teach? I mean, do we really need teachers to teach everything? And don't even mention about the quality of teachers in Malaysia. We even have a headmistress that teaches students to call other races names in school openly. tsk..tsk...tsk...
We should teach our kid the meaning of life, to cherish life and also to respect others no matter what skin colour, religion, poor or rich. What I noticed with youngsters nowadays is that, they take life so lightly. Mat Rempits and Baby Dumpers are mostly youngsters. Imagine, these people are our future and they are doing all these stunts, be it "Superman" at highways or "breast-massage" session openly in school and they even share it proudly in Facebook. To them "eh aku suka la!". No shame, no sign of remourse, no fear. Die, die lah! Whatever!
To me, everything starts from home. Not only the parents, the relatives, the elder brother or sis can teach. I remember very clearly about the incident that I once threw the ice cream packaging into the drain. My sis asked me " Do you know it's wrong to throw rubbish everywhere?" I replied to her "Ah, its nothing la." She then taught me how long it takes for the rubbish to decompose and imagine if everyone throw one rubbish into the drain, do you know how much rubbish there will be in this drain and how bad is it going to be?" From then onwards, I make sure every rubbish ends up in the rubbish bin and I am now teaching it to my kids and niece and nephews.
So sometimes when I flip the newspaper and I wonder....blame it to the internet, blame it on TV, blame it on what what day celebration, Blame on the sky, Blame moon, blame everything la. My lecturer used to say, when you point at other people with ONE finger, you forgot that there are 4 fingers pointing back to yourself. Why blame everything but yourself? If the kid is so well guided from home, why is she pregnant and dumping babies now? I don't think there is any religion out there that teaches the person that its okay to dump babies, right?
You know, my english is not that good and I'm not so highly educated and definitely not perfect in anyways. But I can still teach my kids not to call people names, not to simply throw rubbish, and must wait in queue or say nicely when you need something. You don't need a PHD to teach that. We cannot teach other people's kid but we can teach our own. Let's not wait for someone to teach our kids, let's do it from home cos it's all start from home. Let's build a strong and proper foundation for our kids to guide them and hopefully the future is brighter for them.
P/S: I don't what made me posted this but its been ding dong-ing in my brain since I saw the big dog carrying the puppy. I better write it out cos it's taking too much of my memory space in my brain. *lol*
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
If it never happen to your child..
you don't care much, right?
Okay, let me cerita you all.
The other day after I sent JD to his class, and so happen that hour was "playground" time. So we're all at the playground and I saw the smallest size girl, started scolding this boy who was about to slide down from the top of the slide. As soon as he reached the ground, the girl smacked and scolded him, crossed her arms and walked off. The guy was clueless of what had just happened.
So I wondered.. wah this girl quite a cili padi for her size and age man. So I just pointed to the teacher "This girl quite fierce also eh?" And the teacher who didn't witness the smacking incident just said "yeah, she's very fierce".
So this morning I sent JD and the teacher was away at that time. So I asked JD, so where do you wanna sit today? (cos they just merged 2 classes together, and the teacher wants the kids to mix around, so change seating position everyday) And everyone else pointed at the seat next to the fierce girl. I asked "how come everyday also sit here? I thought have to change place?" and they went "no no.. Jayden sit here wan.."
As soon as JD sat down and holding his water tumbler, the girl went to pinch his left ear, smacked his shoulder and mumbled (I can see that she is scolding him but I have no idea what she said) and she raised her voice and said "YOU UNDERSTAND OR NOT!". And my boy just nod his head and say "yes yes yes" and smilling sheepishly.
I went.. OMG? What just happened right in front of my eyes. She pinched his ear, smacked him and scolded him in front of me. Can you imagine when I am not there?
So I asked JD " what did she say to you?" He just gave me a very scared look and shook his head. I turned to her and asked her "You very fierce hor?" and she happily answered "hehe YEAH!"
I was dumbfounded and left speechless.
The teacher came back and I went to her and said "this XXX is so small size but so fierce hor?" And the teacher sighed and said "yeah .. she is... very fierce wan"
So I added "so fierce until can pinch my son's ear and smacked him in front of me. Very brave and fierce little girl" I was smiling all the way when I said this.
The teacher gave me a shocked look and turned to her and said "XXX come here. Did you pinch JD ear?"
ahhhhh so the story ended here. After that I dunno what happen but I'm so gonna lecture my son when he comes back later. Wah piang.. kena bully in school by a girl. But that's his character, very diam diam kind. *sigh*
So what am i trying to say edi ah? Shit man... the brain like abit not functioning well *read back title* Okay. So what I wanna say is.. when it never happen to your kid, you don't really care. When it happen, then it hurts. Same goes with the saying "the needle is not poking at yr flesh. You won't know the feeling".
Sekian Terima Kasih.
Okay, let me cerita you all.
The other day after I sent JD to his class, and so happen that hour was "playground" time. So we're all at the playground and I saw the smallest size girl, started scolding this boy who was about to slide down from the top of the slide. As soon as he reached the ground, the girl smacked and scolded him, crossed her arms and walked off. The guy was clueless of what had just happened.
So I wondered.. wah this girl quite a cili padi for her size and age man. So I just pointed to the teacher "This girl quite fierce also eh?" And the teacher who didn't witness the smacking incident just said "yeah, she's very fierce".
So this morning I sent JD and the teacher was away at that time. So I asked JD, so where do you wanna sit today? (cos they just merged 2 classes together, and the teacher wants the kids to mix around, so change seating position everyday) And everyone else pointed at the seat next to the fierce girl. I asked "how come everyday also sit here? I thought have to change place?" and they went "no no.. Jayden sit here wan.."
As soon as JD sat down and holding his water tumbler, the girl went to pinch his left ear, smacked his shoulder and mumbled (I can see that she is scolding him but I have no idea what she said) and she raised her voice and said "YOU UNDERSTAND OR NOT!". And my boy just nod his head and say "yes yes yes" and smilling sheepishly.
I went.. OMG? What just happened right in front of my eyes. She pinched his ear, smacked him and scolded him in front of me. Can you imagine when I am not there?
So I asked JD " what did she say to you?" He just gave me a very scared look and shook his head. I turned to her and asked her "You very fierce hor?" and she happily answered "hehe YEAH!"
I was dumbfounded and left speechless.
The teacher came back and I went to her and said "this XXX is so small size but so fierce hor?" And the teacher sighed and said "yeah .. she is... very fierce wan"
So I added "so fierce until can pinch my son's ear and smacked him in front of me. Very brave and fierce little girl" I was smiling all the way when I said this.
The teacher gave me a shocked look and turned to her and said "XXX come here. Did you pinch JD ear?"
ahhhhh so the story ended here. After that I dunno what happen but I'm so gonna lecture my son when he comes back later. Wah piang.. kena bully in school by a girl. But that's his character, very diam diam kind. *sigh*
So what am i trying to say edi ah? Shit man... the brain like abit not functioning well *read back title* Okay. So what I wanna say is.. when it never happen to your kid, you don't really care. When it happen, then it hurts. Same goes with the saying "the needle is not poking at yr flesh. You won't know the feeling".
Sekian Terima Kasih.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Rejected Again....:(
I was thinking if I should blog about this or not cos it involves some family members but it's just my own sadness, so why not eh? I am not blaming anyone or angry at anyone that I'm about to blog about, it's just what I think about and I need to get it out so that I can forget about it, until I read it again in my blog when I get older (by then i hope my blog is still around and I can remember my own blog url)
We're at my sil's house last weekend. So the adults were chatting downstairs and the kids played together upstairs. That was what supposed to happen and I thought was happening.
So the kids came down and they started cracking some joke and I noticed that my own kids weren't among the kids who's downstairs. So I went up and I saw my kids playing with Thomas train in my nephew's room.
So I asked Jayden "How come you never join A and YM kor kor?" He said "they locked the door". So I thought okay.. maybe they have different interest and so I need to encourage them to play together. So I waited for them to come up and they did. They went to the other room and locked the door and laughed and giggled very loudly.
I went and knocked on the door and they opened the door and said "YES????" I said "what are you guys doing here?" and they answered that they are playing some house game and using a matress as the kitchen wall. So I briefly asked them "How come you never ask Jayden and Justin to play together?" And they replied "Don't want. later he come and push our tilam down". As she said that , Jayden took a peek and they all screamed "NO!!!!!!!! Don't let him see!"
Aiks.. see also cannot.
Then Jayden poke poke me and told me "Mami I just want to see for a while".
So I told them, "okay, let jayden see for a while okay? I will be here to see him"
So Jayden went in, walked one round around the room and got out from the room.
So did I.
and they closed the door again.
So I looked at both my kids playing Thomas Trains all by themselves.
Jayden talk to Justin, Justin talk to Jayden.
I was thinking, rejected again but what to do. Different channel.
But luckily they have each other and they have the same interest otherwise so kesian gotto play alone.
Again, I need to highlight that I am not angry with the kids for rejecting my kids. Kids are kids. They do things like this but I felt pity for my 2. That's all.
We're at my sil's house last weekend. So the adults were chatting downstairs and the kids played together upstairs. That was what supposed to happen and I thought was happening.
So the kids came down and they started cracking some joke and I noticed that my own kids weren't among the kids who's downstairs. So I went up and I saw my kids playing with Thomas train in my nephew's room.
So I asked Jayden "How come you never join A and YM kor kor?" He said "they locked the door". So I thought okay.. maybe they have different interest and so I need to encourage them to play together. So I waited for them to come up and they did. They went to the other room and locked the door and laughed and giggled very loudly.
I went and knocked on the door and they opened the door and said "YES????" I said "what are you guys doing here?" and they answered that they are playing some house game and using a matress as the kitchen wall. So I briefly asked them "How come you never ask Jayden and Justin to play together?" And they replied "Don't want. later he come and push our tilam down". As she said that , Jayden took a peek and they all screamed "NO!!!!!!!! Don't let him see!"
Aiks.. see also cannot.
Then Jayden poke poke me and told me "Mami I just want to see for a while".
So I told them, "okay, let jayden see for a while okay? I will be here to see him"
So Jayden went in, walked one round around the room and got out from the room.
So did I.
and they closed the door again.
So I looked at both my kids playing Thomas Trains all by themselves.
Jayden talk to Justin, Justin talk to Jayden.
I was thinking, rejected again but what to do. Different channel.
But luckily they have each other and they have the same interest otherwise so kesian gotto play alone.
Again, I need to highlight that I am not angry with the kids for rejecting my kids. Kids are kids. They do things like this but I felt pity for my 2. That's all.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Good Morning
I have been feeling this lump on my throat and every time I eat, I felt like as though its stucked there. So thinking maybe something is wrong, I went to see yenjai. After some "AHHHHHHHHHH" he said that my throat is dry and red. Right section is swollen and the wall on the throat is like my cracked heel. Its cracked not because I didn't drink enough water. Not because its infection. Not sore throat also. It's because I didn't get enough sleep and rest. So he gave me some gargle and a pill. The pill that I posted on my previous post. That pill was supposed to relax my body for 6 hours and let me sleep better. But he ran out of stock and he only has one pill cos he sold 10 another patient earlier. And there won't be any stocks coming in for 2 months time.
So i have ONE very valuable pill. I had it for days, keeping it for emergency use. For very very super duper stress day.
So I used it yesterday.
And it worked, i can focus while I am being angry and i whooped some ass accurately.
I cried for the entire day. One whole day.
Cos he came home and cleaned the kids and also wanted to clean the floor. I told him I didn't call him to come home and clean floor like cinderella. I want him to back me up and punish the kids. He didn't do it. So i did it. Then he is upset, the kids are upset. Then he asked me "Is that the only way ? To Whack them?" Well, I did tell Jayden nicely "DO NOT PLAY WITH PAINT. I WILL DO IT WITH YOU LATER, right Jayden? He nodded and said "Yes mami say no play paint". But they still opened all the damn tube, and they make sure not even one drop is left in the tube. And you know, I Just bought those last week.
So according to him, I am wrong. My way is wrong.
Talk - done.
Whack - done.
Basically there is nothing left for me to do here. Might as well not do anything.
He left and the kids had a party in the room. Took coins (which I already told the man not to keep coins lying everywhere) and throw it to the ceiling fan. WOW! the small one said.
I said "No. Don't throw coins".
They stopped throwing coins. YAY!
Not because the mom said stop. Cos they found another better game. The standing fan. The small one discovered that if we put coins into the fan it will PIANG the coin and fly out. He said WOW!!!! The big one also said WOW! and both started throwing coins into the standing fan.
Wrong to whack. Wrong to scold. I did nothing but to pull the plug out.
End of story.
What? so fast?
Not yet.
The big one went to cucuk cucuk the plug with whatever plug he can find trying to revive the fan so that they can throw coins again.
I just said enough.
Go and stand at the wall and wait for your dad to come home.
So they did for like 10 seconds.
Then started to lie down. Then started to run around. Then trashed my newly cleaned room. My part time maid come every wednesday and yes yesterday was wednesday.
Then they just had fun and fun and more fun giggling while the mom is crying.
And then they slept at 7pm.
and woke up at 8pm. cry cry cry for no reason.
The father picked up the small one and said "DID YOU HIT HIM AGAIN?"
Then he said wanna bring him to see doctor cos he dunno why the kid is crying.
The mum said you bring him to see doctor cos he is crying?
so heThrow passed the kid to the mum and went to hide in the room.
Mum brought the kid down and cooked sausages and he happily eat.
The bigger one woke up and walked down.
mom asked where is dadi.
dadi is sleeping he replied.
fantastic.
cooked pasta for dinner.
father wake up and eat dinner.
happy family.
Mom went to bed very early. Lying down. Looked at the ceiling. Eyes painful and very sleepy but cannot sleep.
finally doze of and woke up middle of the night with terrible headache.
the husband passed panadol to her and she cried to sleep.
7.15am: brriiiinggg....alarm on.
good morning.
So i have ONE very valuable pill. I had it for days, keeping it for emergency use. For very very super duper stress day.
So I used it yesterday.
And it worked, i can focus while I am being angry and i whooped some ass accurately.
I cried for the entire day. One whole day.
Cos he came home and cleaned the kids and also wanted to clean the floor. I told him I didn't call him to come home and clean floor like cinderella. I want him to back me up and punish the kids. He didn't do it. So i did it. Then he is upset, the kids are upset. Then he asked me "Is that the only way ? To Whack them?" Well, I did tell Jayden nicely "DO NOT PLAY WITH PAINT. I WILL DO IT WITH YOU LATER, right Jayden? He nodded and said "Yes mami say no play paint". But they still opened all the damn tube, and they make sure not even one drop is left in the tube. And you know, I Just bought those last week.
So according to him, I am wrong. My way is wrong.
Talk - done.
Whack - done.
Basically there is nothing left for me to do here. Might as well not do anything.
He left and the kids had a party in the room. Took coins (which I already told the man not to keep coins lying everywhere) and throw it to the ceiling fan. WOW! the small one said.
I said "No. Don't throw coins".
They stopped throwing coins. YAY!
Not because the mom said stop. Cos they found another better game. The standing fan. The small one discovered that if we put coins into the fan it will PIANG the coin and fly out. He said WOW!!!! The big one also said WOW! and both started throwing coins into the standing fan.
Wrong to whack. Wrong to scold. I did nothing but to pull the plug out.
End of story.
What? so fast?
Not yet.
The big one went to cucuk cucuk the plug with whatever plug he can find trying to revive the fan so that they can throw coins again.
I just said enough.
Go and stand at the wall and wait for your dad to come home.
So they did for like 10 seconds.
Then started to lie down. Then started to run around. Then trashed my newly cleaned room. My part time maid come every wednesday and yes yesterday was wednesday.
Then they just had fun and fun and more fun giggling while the mom is crying.
And then they slept at 7pm.
and woke up at 8pm. cry cry cry for no reason.
The father picked up the small one and said "DID YOU HIT HIM AGAIN?"
Then he said wanna bring him to see doctor cos he dunno why the kid is crying.
The mum said you bring him to see doctor cos he is crying?
so he
Mum brought the kid down and cooked sausages and he happily eat.
The bigger one woke up and walked down.
mom asked where is dadi.
dadi is sleeping he replied.
fantastic.
cooked pasta for dinner.
father wake up and eat dinner.
happy family.
Mom went to bed very early. Lying down. Looked at the ceiling. Eyes painful and very sleepy but cannot sleep.
finally doze of and woke up middle of the night with terrible headache.
the husband passed panadol to her and she cried to sleep.
7.15am: brriiiinggg....alarm on.
good morning.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Why is the pill not working?
After my post this morning, I took a medicine which was supposed to make me a lil happier.
I patiently waited and waited for the effect to take place.
JUst now after lunch, I sat here and chat with shoppingmum. Just for that 5 mins and I turned around.
I don't think the pill is working.
Yenjai, why am i not happy yet ? And the effect can last for 6 hours only right?
I patiently waited and waited for the effect to take place.
JUst now after lunch, I sat here and chat with shoppingmum. Just for that 5 mins and I turned around.
I don't think the pill is working.
Yenjai, why am i not happy yet ? And the effect can last for 6 hours only right?
The Mother Cries In Silence
The mom took care of her kids for 24 hours yesterday cos the husband went to Singapore for business. Day started as early as 7.15am. Got the kids ready and sent the older one to school. The day was lovely, the mom was happy. Well, at least for more than 5 days she didn't scream. She tried to change her style. She's loving it, her kids are loving it and the husband is loving it (maybe, he never say anything).
By 11pm, they are still jumping like duracell bunny. 11.30pm, the mom nearly drop dead. By nearly 12am the father came back. Maybe its 12, maybe its earlier. She doesn't know.
By morning 7.15am she is up again. Felt like shit. Felt like so sleepy. Wanted to go back to sleep but no. She gotto go and make milk for her kids and get the older one ready for school. She said to her husband who woke up for a while and got back to sleep that she is sooooo sleepy. The husband just replied "go back to sleep lor..." . As if she can, if she goes back to sleep the kid skip school is it? So she dragged herself up and put the clothes to washing machine and then wash the milk bottles and then made a cup of coffee. No more Nescafe 3in1 Regular Coffee. Her regular drug is not available. So settle for some shit crap coffee. She went up and asked the husband "you send him or I send him". He just replied " you send la.. can or not?"
Pity the husband gotto go and come back on the same day outstation, she said "okay" although she felt throwing herself on the bed and snore loudly.
The older kid gotto be repetedly asked "go take your socks.put on your socks. Put on your shoes. Hurry up. We're late. Hurry up. Where your socks? Why you wear it upside down? Put it on properly. Why you cry? Wear socks only also cry? Aiyah go into the car and wear la"
In the car the older kid kept saying "Mami i cannot. I cannot." He kept putting the socks upside down. The mom calmly said "you can.. u try one more time. You can do it like how you did it everyday.
The son replied "no i cannot. No i cannot. Uwaaaa UWAAAA UWAAA I CANNOT MAMI I CANNOT"
THe mom raised her voice "KEEP QUIET! LOOK AT THE DOTS PROPERLY AND PUT ON YR SOCKS. STOP CRYING!"
"MAMI I CANNOT MAMI I CANNOT UWAAAA UWAAAAAA"
The mother said "Jayden, stop crying and focus on putting on your socks".
"NO I CANNOT!"
"Well, if you cannot put on your socks, then you can go to school without socks and shoes" the mother said.
" NOOOOOOOO! UWA UWA UWA UWA UWA UWA UWA."
And the journey is like 15 mins from home to school. And the son is still crying. At the school compound, the mom said to her son "I give you last chance to put on yr socks and shoes. If not I will send you to school like this".
Her son"refused to put on his socks and hid in the car. The mother went to the left door he go over to the right side of the car. The mom went to the right side he quickly run to the left side. Enough..the mom said. She jumped into the car and dragged her son out.
She looked up and saw the headmistress signaling asking if the mom needs her to come out and take the child. She waved back indicating no thanks.
Gave her son a smack and said LOOK. I had enough of this. You either put on yr socks or you go to school like this.
He continued to cry. So the mom did what she said. She carried him, took his bag and his shoes and walk straight to the headmistress room. The headmistress and asst Hm came to assist. The mom just walk out with the kid screaming in the office.
So drove home, felt ever more shittier. After all its just about putting on the socks. But she knows she is sticking to her principle, he gotto learn and she won't treat and spoil him like how his dad is doing. Everything also its okay, nevermind, he is a small boy, pity him, blablabla.
Came home, she hung the laundry, boiled water, and fold clothes while she watches her recorded Desperate housewives series. And suddenly she just started to cry silently... for what reason she just doesn't know. Tired? Sleepy? Unhappy? Stressed? Depressed?
The husband woke up and saw her unhappy face. He asked what happened?And she told him "I threw Jayden to school without socks and shoes. I sent him to the HM's office. And the husband first reaction was "why you HUMILIATE him like that?" The wife never answer. What for. No matter what she said, she is wrong. Always wrong.
Lagi make her even more shittier. Nevermind la. Not like she is not feeling tat way anyway right? Say also wrong. Don't say, they say you something wrong. Better not say anything and just cryla..cry in silence.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Too bad la.
Yesterday I blogged about how sweet Jayden was. Today I wanna bang my head to the wall.
Last night, I was unhappy cos I was upset over a customer . I digress cos I don't wanna bitch about my customer. But she is just so ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I was unhappy.
I wanted to tell it to someone, face to face. You know, just to express what I am feeling inside and to get some reaction like nodding head and agree and say "yeah she's a bitch, jek!". If I were to speak to a person who looks at other place, won't say a thing, why not i just go and knock the fucking wall right? At least the wall will give me a TUK TUK sound.
So, there was this man which I sometimes call Husband lying on the bed, relaxing as usual. So I wanted to talk and of course someone will say "EXCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MAMIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIII"
And of course I said "YEAH WHAT YOU WANT?"
and he replied "I WANT TO SAYYYYYYYY EXXXXXXXXXXXCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE only".
Ok then? Said edi right? ANy other thing? Can I continue?
I got a *nod nod*
So continue bitching and there he goes again EXXXXXXXXXXXCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
And i said EH STOP IT LA! I want to talk to dadi you know? You have nothing to say then you just let mami finish and then you can EXCUSE ME ALL YOU WANT.
The father just say "it's okay la. He want our attention only" *pat pat on the kids' head*
Mother's blood went to 18 floor edi.
Mother screamed.
EH! I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU HOW UNHAPPY I AM. YOU SHOULD ASK HIM TO KEEP QUIET AND LET ME VOICE OUT MY UNHAPPINESSS! I KEEP INSIDE UNTIL I WANNA BURST EDI YOU KNOW? BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO INSTEAD YOU ASK ME TO KEEP QUIET AND LET HIM HAVE ALLLL THE ATTENTION HE WANTS. WHAT HE WANNA SAY?? EXCUSE ME ONLY??? I AM STUCKED AT HOME, LOOKING AT THEM THE WHOLE DAY. AT NIGHT I CANNOT EVEN VOICE OUT MY UNHAPPINESS FOR JUST 5MINS?
Son say "it's okay mami".
In the mother's heart "what it's okay. It's NOT OKAY. FARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK".
No. mom just walk out watch tv and feel like shit inside. Still very angry. Still full of fire. But no one to tell to and went to bed.
Mom woke up, feel shitty, feel like a bomb about to explode anytime, but no where to express and no one to talk to.
So what mom do?
Do what? WORK LA, tiu. Like as if you get a break or pat pat on the head.
Unhappy? too bad la.
Last night, I was unhappy cos I was upset over a customer . I digress cos I don't wanna bitch about my customer. But she is just so ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I was unhappy.
I wanted to tell it to someone, face to face. You know, just to express what I am feeling inside and to get some reaction like nodding head and agree and say "yeah she's a bitch, jek!". If I were to speak to a person who looks at other place, won't say a thing, why not i just go and knock the fucking wall right? At least the wall will give me a TUK TUK sound.
So, there was this man which I sometimes call Husband lying on the bed, relaxing as usual. So I wanted to talk and of course someone will say "EXCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MAMIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIII"
And of course I said "YEAH WHAT YOU WANT?"
and he replied "I WANT TO SAYYYYYYYY EXXXXXXXXXXXCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE only".
Ok then? Said edi right? ANy other thing? Can I continue?
I got a *nod nod*
So continue bitching and there he goes again EXXXXXXXXXXXCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
And i said EH STOP IT LA! I want to talk to dadi you know? You have nothing to say then you just let mami finish and then you can EXCUSE ME ALL YOU WANT.
The father just say "it's okay la. He want our attention only" *pat pat on the kids' head*
Mother's blood went to 18 floor edi.
Mother screamed.
EH! I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU HOW UNHAPPY I AM. YOU SHOULD ASK HIM TO KEEP QUIET AND LET ME VOICE OUT MY UNHAPPINESSS! I KEEP INSIDE UNTIL I WANNA BURST EDI YOU KNOW? BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO INSTEAD YOU ASK ME TO KEEP QUIET AND LET HIM HAVE ALLLL THE ATTENTION HE WANTS. WHAT HE WANNA SAY?? EXCUSE ME ONLY??? I AM STUCKED AT HOME, LOOKING AT THEM THE WHOLE DAY. AT NIGHT I CANNOT EVEN VOICE OUT MY UNHAPPINESS FOR JUST 5MINS?
Son say "it's okay mami".
In the mother's heart "what it's okay. It's NOT OKAY. FARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK".
No. mom just walk out watch tv and feel like shit inside. Still very angry. Still full of fire. But no one to tell to and went to bed.
Mom woke up, feel shitty, feel like a bomb about to explode anytime, but no where to express and no one to talk to.
So what mom do?
Do what? WORK LA, tiu. Like as if you get a break or pat pat on the head.
Unhappy? too bad la.
Monday, April 12, 2010
i cannot talk.
Scenario one: Neighbour came over
Neighbour: Blablablablabla
Me: Yeah blablablabla
Jayden: mami Mami!! *stand in front of me and block my view* Excuse me
Me: Yes, what do you want?
Jayden :)
Me: blablablabla
Neighbour: Blablablabla
Jayden: Mami! Mami! *block view and use hands to cover my mouth*
Neighbour: Jayden, you cannot do this you know.. its very rude. Your mami want to talk.
Jayden: *ignored* mami! Mami! EXCUSE ME!
ME: YES!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT????????? TALK! Don't disturb me and Aunty Dorothy while we're talking okay?
Jayden: *nod nod*
Me: So what DO YOU WANT?
Jayden: *smile*
Me: Nothing? Then don't disturb. Blablablabla
Jayden: *exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcuseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii* (with the wavy tone up and down)
Me: OMG! JAYDEN! WHAT DO YOU WANT???????
Jayden: *SMILE*
Scenario two: I was talking to my husband about something which made me so upset last night
Me: blablablabla! Bla!
Husband: hmmmmm hmmmmm
Jayden: Mami mami mami mami mami mami... Mami mami mami excuse me mami. Excuseeeee me. Mami
Husband: You layan him abit la....
Me: YES.
Jayden: :)
Me: say, what u wanna say.
Jayden: :)
Me: blablablablabla
Jayden: mami mami mami mami mami mami *use hand to cover my mouth*
Me: EH! don't be rude ah!
Jayden: Mami Mami Mami Mami Excuse meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT? TELL!
Jayden: :) *and walk off*
Scenario two:
Me: Blablablablablabla *talking on the phone*
Justin: mami... Uwaaaa.. mami. Uwa.... *climb on my body*
Me: *carry justin* blablablablabla
Justin: Mami.............Uwaaaaaaaaaaa.....Mami mami Mami...*use train to play on my mouth* mami mami!
Friend: I think you better go and layan your son.
Me: Okay bye. *click* what do you want Justin?
Justin: *kept quiet*
and this happen all the time.
Big one like that. Small one also like that. *sigh* and some ppl won't understand. How i wish I can scream "WHAT THE FARK do you want???!!!!!!!!!" But I cannot. I can just act like zombie and keep quiet.
I have already given up my job. Stay at home, cook, play, bath, sleep with them. Its still NOT enough. They don't even allow me to talk, to talk about my problems or anything at all. I cannot give up talking and entertain them all the time cos if I do that, then what about the future. I can't even talk to anyone. Better ask me to dig a hole and go bury myself.
what to do? how to fix it? Just ignore and let them get used to it. Then they cry.........cry............. for no reason.
Wanna carry all the time.
NO........Not going to happen to me. Today I carry, tomorrow he wanna carry again. Then again again again then i ORSI (shit) also cannot orsi in peace.
So yeah. I'm not a good mom. I let my kids cry.
So there. Since i cannot TALK, then i write.
Neighbour: Blablablablabla
Me: Yeah blablablabla
Jayden: mami Mami!! *stand in front of me and block my view* Excuse me
Me: Yes, what do you want?
Jayden :)
Me: blablablabla
Neighbour: Blablablabla
Jayden: Mami! Mami! *block view and use hands to cover my mouth*
Neighbour: Jayden, you cannot do this you know.. its very rude. Your mami want to talk.
Jayden: *ignored* mami! Mami! EXCUSE ME!
ME: YES!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT????????? TALK! Don't disturb me and Aunty Dorothy while we're talking okay?
Jayden: *nod nod*
Me: So what DO YOU WANT?
Jayden: *smile*
Me: Nothing? Then don't disturb. Blablablabla
Jayden: *exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcuseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii* (with the wavy tone up and down)
Me: OMG! JAYDEN! WHAT DO YOU WANT???????
Jayden: *SMILE*
Scenario two: I was talking to my husband about something which made me so upset last night
Me: blablablabla! Bla!
Husband: hmmmmm hmmmmm
Jayden: Mami mami mami mami mami mami... Mami mami mami excuse me mami. Excuseeeee me. Mami
Husband: You layan him abit la....
Me: YES.
Jayden: :)
Me: say, what u wanna say.
Jayden: :)
Me: blablablablabla
Jayden: mami mami mami mami mami mami *use hand to cover my mouth*
Me: EH! don't be rude ah!
Jayden: Mami Mami Mami Mami Excuse meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT? TELL!
Jayden: :) *and walk off*
Scenario two:
Me: Blablablablablabla *talking on the phone*
Justin: mami... Uwaaaa.. mami. Uwa.... *climb on my body*
Me: *carry justin* blablablablabla
Justin: Mami.............Uwaaaaaaaaaaa.....Mami mami Mami...*use train to play on my mouth* mami mami!
Friend: I think you better go and layan your son.
Me: Okay bye. *click* what do you want Justin?
Justin: *kept quiet*
and this happen all the time.
Big one like that. Small one also like that. *sigh* and some ppl won't understand. How i wish I can scream "WHAT THE FARK do you want???!!!!!!!!!" But I cannot. I can just act like zombie and keep quiet.
I have already given up my job. Stay at home, cook, play, bath, sleep with them. Its still NOT enough. They don't even allow me to talk, to talk about my problems or anything at all. I cannot give up talking and entertain them all the time cos if I do that, then what about the future. I can't even talk to anyone. Better ask me to dig a hole and go bury myself.
what to do? how to fix it? Just ignore and let them get used to it. Then they cry.........cry............. for no reason.
Wanna carry all the time.
NO........Not going to happen to me. Today I carry, tomorrow he wanna carry again. Then again again again then i ORSI (shit) also cannot orsi in peace.
So yeah. I'm not a good mom. I let my kids cry.
So there. Since i cannot TALK, then i write.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
To the Corner
Jayden is so big and matured now. Even sometimes when I cane him, he won't make a single sound. He would just shed his tears in silence and bite his lips. You should see, he is crying like a macho man in those dramamamas. And because of this, I told myself "Chill and just send him to the corner". Justin, I got no choice but to scold and smack. But he seems like a person with short term memory only. Smacked, cried and back in action. *smack forehead*
That day I sent Jayden to the corner. Cos not once, not twice, not thrice, he continuously pissed me off.
First he peed in my car cos he couldn't stand it. So it was an accident. Chill...
Then I asked him to help me fetch the small table so they can hve lunch. He totally ignored me and walked off and watched tv. nevermind... too into TV i said.
Then when I bathed him i nearly fainted cos...He pooped in his pants in sch and didn't tell anyone. He actually came home, ate lunch and even watched tv with the poop inside. Its not the diarrhea poop, its the huge hard poop. I asked him when he pooped and he told me he pooped in schbut never tell teacher. *sigh* my very shy boy, dun want the teacher to wash his bum!
So I bathed him and put on his t shirt for him and asked him to put on his underwear and pants himself. I went to clean the toilet and I saw him bottomless and he was sitting on the floor with a "lump of something" in front of him. I asked "what is this? " And he happily said "its Pek Pek! (shit)" i asked again "Who's?" He said "MINE!!!" :D smile samo.
Then I scolded him, I said "pls la.. why shit never tell?" he just smile and walked off. Wah piang... i gotto clean the floor again. I asked him to drink water and passed him his tumbler. He held his tumbler and watched tv.. and I can see the tummbler falling down and water spilling on the sofa and all over him. Still he just watched tv.
"OMG... i had enuff" i told him. Smacked twice and asked him to go to the corner while I clean and chill myself. I know I needed to chill cos when someone is angry and is equipped with cane, danger and accident CAN HAPPEN.
I wentback and checked on him and found him like this.
Yeah he slept while "Standing" or sitting in the corner. *sigh*
I must say, he is usually not like this that's why I am upset with him. I guess he just need some time to think and I needed sometime to chil very badly. That's why i sent him to the corner.
Some said that its a good punishment, some said I tortured him. Helo? Which is more torturing, whacking and then gotto endure the loud screaming and crying and the neighbour thinks I'm mad, or sending him to sit in the corner - not feeling pain in any location except being bored and upset that he can't play his toy or watch tv while his mum is trying to stay sane and relaxed so she can last until the sun comes down?
That day I sent Jayden to the corner. Cos not once, not twice, not thrice, he continuously pissed me off.
First he peed in my car cos he couldn't stand it. So it was an accident. Chill...
Then I asked him to help me fetch the small table so they can hve lunch. He totally ignored me and walked off and watched tv. nevermind... too into TV i said.
Then when I bathed him i nearly fainted cos...He pooped in his pants in sch and didn't tell anyone. He actually came home, ate lunch and even watched tv with the poop inside. Its not the diarrhea poop, its the huge hard poop. I asked him when he pooped and he told me he pooped in schbut never tell teacher. *sigh* my very shy boy, dun want the teacher to wash his bum!
So I bathed him and put on his t shirt for him and asked him to put on his underwear and pants himself. I went to clean the toilet and I saw him bottomless and he was sitting on the floor with a "lump of something" in front of him. I asked "what is this? " And he happily said "its Pek Pek! (shit)" i asked again "Who's?" He said "MINE!!!" :D smile samo.
Then I scolded him, I said "pls la.. why shit never tell?" he just smile and walked off. Wah piang... i gotto clean the floor again. I asked him to drink water and passed him his tumbler. He held his tumbler and watched tv.. and I can see the tummbler falling down and water spilling on the sofa and all over him. Still he just watched tv.
"OMG... i had enuff" i told him. Smacked twice and asked him to go to the corner while I clean and chill myself. I know I needed to chill cos when someone is angry and is equipped with cane, danger and accident CAN HAPPEN.
I wentback and checked on him and found him like this.
Yeah he slept while "Standing" or sitting in the corner. *sigh*
I must say, he is usually not like this that's why I am upset with him. I guess he just need some time to think and I needed sometime to chil very badly. That's why i sent him to the corner.
Some said that its a good punishment, some said I tortured him. Helo? Which is more torturing, whacking and then gotto endure the loud screaming and crying and the neighbour thinks I'm mad, or sending him to sit in the corner - not feeling pain in any location except being bored and upset that he can't play his toy or watch tv while his mum is trying to stay sane and relaxed so she can last until the sun comes down?
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
3rd week will be better, right?
(was supposed to post this last night but didn't get to)
Last night, after posting my post I thought "hey its time for my meal of the day " cook maggie mee la. So I went down with my cacated finger and cook maggie kari with some tiny sausages for the kids to eat. Then Big C came home and asked "Now only u cook dinner? You haven't eaten?" I thought what a funny question to ask when its TIME to cook dinner at 7 plus. I asked him, "why u come home so early? I thought got badminton tonight? He replied "It's near to 9pm u know?". I was shocked, 9 pm and I baru eat dinner. Like I said NUMB. The brain is NUMB. The finger is pain and NUMB. The stomach also NUMB. I only eat cos I have to eat.
This morning, I thought I should leave early before picking Jayden up from sch, so its good time to go to the post office to renew my licence. Waited and waited and finally couldn't wait anymore. So left to pick JD. Since its the last day before my licence expire, I thought why not go to one that is in a shopping mall. So off we went to Ikano.
At the car park, I was trying to help JD to fit his shoes on and he jumped from the car and .... LANDED on my injured finger. Wah Piang!!!! pain............. and then NUMB. Seriously, speechless. He saw and he thought that he caused the injury and kept asking if I'm alright, kept saying "I hold your right hand - your left hand painpain, Why You cut yr finger mami??"
See that its different colour from the other fingers? Greenish Yellowish like a dead finger.
Anyway Yes. I brought 2 boys out in a shopping mall ALONE. Since Justin was sleeping in the stroller it made it easier for me to go buy whatever I needed to buy. Thank god, Jayden changed so much and is very helpful. I have waited so long for these day to come. Now, I gotto wait for JT's turn. We went to so many shops and ate mcD. So nice.
And now i'm back home with a koala hanging behind me while I type this. *sigh*
See la... how irritating. If he sit there only nevermind. He just love to hug my neck and suffocate me.
Luckily he is cute if not i cekik him edi..
First week, I gotto admit that it was bad. JT was teething and sick with flu so he refused food and drink. I gotto kept forcing him to eat and spoonfeed him with water and milk. I was so stressed until I really broke down and cried. It was Jayden's word that picked me up "Mami, you can do it!" and "Mami please don't be angry. Let me kiss you". Big C was helpful too, kept asking me to rest and offered to buy food back.
This week I thought that it will be better. But I cut my finger and I'm basically working with just one hand and worst, I burnt my other hand last night. I thought that the sterilizer is done and i went to open the cover and BOOOSH the hot air came out and basically "cooked" my finger. So 2 hands also cacated. I was pissed and angry at myself for being so careless and started to argue with Big C. That's when Jayden said to us "mami and dadi? Why u all so angry? Don't be angry." The 2 of us just kept quiet. Jayden oh Jayden.. you just know when to say the right words.
Nevermind..nevermind.. Just tahan. If 2nd week is bad then perhap 3rd week is better, right?
Last night, after posting my post I thought "hey its time for my meal of the day " cook maggie mee la. So I went down with my cacated finger and cook maggie kari with some tiny sausages for the kids to eat. Then Big C came home and asked "Now only u cook dinner? You haven't eaten?" I thought what a funny question to ask when its TIME to cook dinner at 7 plus. I asked him, "why u come home so early? I thought got badminton tonight? He replied "It's near to 9pm u know?". I was shocked, 9 pm and I baru eat dinner. Like I said NUMB. The brain is NUMB. The finger is pain and NUMB. The stomach also NUMB. I only eat cos I have to eat.
This morning, I thought I should leave early before picking Jayden up from sch, so its good time to go to the post office to renew my licence. Waited and waited and finally couldn't wait anymore. So left to pick JD. Since its the last day before my licence expire, I thought why not go to one that is in a shopping mall. So off we went to Ikano.
At the car park, I was trying to help JD to fit his shoes on and he jumped from the car and .... LANDED on my injured finger. Wah Piang!!!! pain............. and then NUMB. Seriously, speechless. He saw and he thought that he caused the injury and kept asking if I'm alright, kept saying "I hold your right hand - your left hand painpain, Why You cut yr finger mami??"
See that its different colour from the other fingers? Greenish Yellowish like a dead finger.
Anyway Yes. I brought 2 boys out in a shopping mall ALONE. Since Justin was sleeping in the stroller it made it easier for me to go buy whatever I needed to buy. Thank god, Jayden changed so much and is very helpful. I have waited so long for these day to come. Now, I gotto wait for JT's turn. We went to so many shops and ate mcD. So nice.
And now i'm back home with a koala hanging behind me while I type this. *sigh*
See la... how irritating. If he sit there only nevermind. He just love to hug my neck and suffocate me.
Luckily he is cute if not i cekik him edi..
First week, I gotto admit that it was bad. JT was teething and sick with flu so he refused food and drink. I gotto kept forcing him to eat and spoonfeed him with water and milk. I was so stressed until I really broke down and cried. It was Jayden's word that picked me up "Mami, you can do it!" and "Mami please don't be angry. Let me kiss you". Big C was helpful too, kept asking me to rest and offered to buy food back.
This week I thought that it will be better. But I cut my finger and I'm basically working with just one hand and worst, I burnt my other hand last night. I thought that the sterilizer is done and i went to open the cover and BOOOSH the hot air came out and basically "cooked" my finger. So 2 hands also cacated. I was pissed and angry at myself for being so careless and started to argue with Big C. That's when Jayden said to us "mami and dadi? Why u all so angry? Don't be angry." The 2 of us just kept quiet. Jayden oh Jayden.. you just know when to say the right words.
Nevermind..nevermind.. Just tahan. If 2nd week is bad then perhap 3rd week is better, right?
Monday, March 01, 2010
I survived my first week
being maidless.
I am still working until end of this month. After that, I'll see how. Not having an income really scares me. But for my kids, what to do. Not like someone is going to offer and make it easier :P.
I was alone with the kids in the noon. To make it worst, both kids were sick. Not enough, "aunty" came....*sigh* So first few days, JD didn't go to sch. So no rushing around being a driver. The 3rd day, he went to sch. So how I work? I dunno. I just know that somehow I managed to finish my work and even went for a few hours meeting while BigC babysit J
Friday was a holiday. Enjoy right? N-O.
On Thu-Friday midnight, JD complaint that his ear was "broken" and he want us to bring him to the hospital. So off we went to Hosp at 1am and dididada, we came home at around 3.30am. Holiday ma.. can rest right? NO... by 7 am he was crying again , saying he need to go see Yenjai. So I brought him and went to see yenjai and he advised us to go for the specialist. But since it was a Public Holiday, all specialist was on holiday. So we fed him medicine and distracted him by talking and asking him question.
Then we gotto follow Big C for some product demo and I was left taking of the kids. So what I did? Fed and then make them sleep in the stroller. I can never sleep in public but that day I slept on the table. Wuah.... really konked out.
Sat came and it was the 14th day of cny. Big C wanted to invite his side of family over for makan-makan. I know! It's crazy but I already did for my side of family when the "guest" was around and so since its ending of cny... do only la. I cooked from 2pm till 6pm. Cleaned the 2nd living room and gotto rush and bath the kids before the "real guest" came. And I managed to wash up. So everything was done and ready when the guest came and they said my food is nice. Secret is.... *whisper* starve them. Then everything is nice! *joking joking*
Sunday came and left like lightning. It was the 15th day of cny where we normall celebrate my mums bday cos hers falls on the 18th day of cny. We went to eat at KL and was entertained with Dragon and Lion dance.
This lion came for a rest before proceeding with the dance. Dad fed him with Ah Hwa chicken wing. hahhaa that guy was munching a chicken wing under the outfit.
Came home late and JD couldn't wake up for sch. Don't say the kid, the mum was half dead. So skipped sch today and its MONDAY only. *sigh*
I cut my finger today while chopping somevege for the porridge. How serious? You see la.
I should've taken the pic with the blood oozing out for Big C to see. It's so damn painful until I dunno how to laugh or smile anymore.
My house is in a mess. Like Tsunami came and left. Even the floor fan and table went terbalik.
Clean clean clean. Again its like that. So I am N-U-M-B.
The kids... Play with the powder.
Smack! Play with the cream. Smack! Play with water. Smack!
Justin is teething so yeah, he lau sai many times a day. And also extremely sticky like a koala bear. And he love to climb on me when I'm in front of the mac. Hug my face and hug my hand asking me to stop working. 
And he love to cry cry cry telling me that he is crying. Same like his kor kor .. he love to make announcement..."Mami... Uwa uwa I cry! I cry!". *breath in breath out.......*
Altho it was really havoc week, some good came out from that.
- Jayden is much more responsible. He knows how to complain (never happened when the guest was around) "Mami.. titi play water. Mami titi play powder! Mami this mami that",
- He knows how to clean up (after I asked him to),
- both eat VERY FAST (cos the person who is feeding is not watching TV like the previous person who used to feed them),
- JT knows how to say "Sowi mami", "here the cane mami.." and many more.
So it's not THAT bad. It's BAd. But it's not THAT bad. You know what I mean. Just gotto close one eyes. Or sometimes BOTH eyes. Life is short, just chill and enjoy. Tomorrow will be better, right¿
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