Au Huit (vomit blood) *oek*

So, he said he wanna improve and practice ma. So fine la. I have him some worksheet.

The first day he saw the worksheet and began to whine and said "I don't like this.... Can I not do this? yada yada yada yada yada yada yadaaaaaaa and yadaaaaaaaaa"

I said "fine!" I tore the paper and throw into the rubbish bin.

I said "Now you don't need to do it, ever!" I packed his school bag and his pencil case and put it in a big plastic bag and out it outside my main door. "Now, you don't have to go school at all too".

He cried cried cried and then went upstairs and played ipad. Yipeeee HAPPIIIEEE only!

Mother angry? Sad? What is that? Ipad! HAPPPIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Then I said "get into the car!" And sent him for tuition.  No one said a word. Justin said to me after Jayden went down "mami.. is it because he din't do his homework, you send him to another aunty house?"I just kept quiet.

Then he came back and he played ipad the whole day, I was pissed. I smacked him, and he did some writing. One stroke.. look left. Another stroke , look right. like it took forever for him to write ONE word.

When his dad came back, I went up to bath. I asked him to feed the kids. By then, he finished and asked me to see. But I was just too frustrated with his attitude. He said sorry and said that he will do homework when I ask him to do. But I Just ignored him. After that, I got dressed and took titi along with me and drove off. Justin asked again "So :) where are we going? Tropicana? Giant (Jaya) Grocer?" I said "I don't know. I am very sad. I just need to drive somewhere (and find food for dinner). So I went to my parents and bought Mcd for dinner. By the time I got home, he was happily playing ipad , looked at me and gave me the look "oh, great. you're still around. Oh well... continue to play ipad".

Who says SAHMS got no pressure? No Deadline? I felt like as if my DEADLINE is so damn near. I went to bed with a sleeping pill and woke up middle of the night. Every night also the same case. I just cannot sleep thinking about how rebellious this dude has become. I admit, that I am extremely strict with him because Justin really look upon him as his IDOL *with stars and glitter on the head*. And whatever kor kor say, it's true and right. And since he has set his standard so high, if he misbehave a bit I will tend to get very upset. So for him to act so rebelliously last night is really a killer for me. Imagine if you were to offer him an ice cream, he'd turn to me and ask me first "can I eat ice cream?" If I were to say NO, he wouldn't even touch the ice cream. He is THAT good. So sigh... My heart is broken. I am so lost.

So morning came, i woke him up and got down to prepare his lunch box. He said sorry to me in the morning but I just don't feel like talking to him. Sent him to school without a word. He tried to hold my hand in school but I brushed him off. I am THAT disappointed with him.

Then I went to pick him up and he ran out from the house and wanted to hug me. But I stopped him. And he held back. Evil? I can be when I am too angry. Came back and what else? Ipad lah. I waited and waited to see whether he remember what he said last night about doing homework. Nope. Ipad HAPPIEEE only. tik tok tik tok 2,3,4,5,6 pm. I said to him , do you know it's 6 o clock now. And you are still wearing your sch uniform? He quickly went and change. Then continue to play ipad again. I said sometimes i felt like taking a hammer and hammer the ipad into tiny pieces. He stopped playing and followed me to the kitchen. As i was cooking, I told him "your homework is on my bed" And he just stare at me , point blank. I said "when I knock the wall, at least the wall will reply with TUK TUK sound. You? worst than talking to a wall". And he quickly go up and took the book down and began to write.

I was collecting and folding laundry when he came out. "I am done. Can I love you again?"

I said "If you do one more page nicely then maybe you can love me again"

He went back in and wrote another page. "Done! Can I play ipad?"

Sigh.

I said "fine. This is the deal. If you write one page homework, you can play 10 mins. Now you wrote 2 pages, you can play 20 mins" And i set the timer on my iphone.

I waited and waited.. "eh.. how come so long still 19 mins geh?"

Then I saw 19:26:55. Damn. I set 20hours instead of 20 mins. *slap forehead* Manyak bodoh! Sigh.. this is the effect of no proper sleep for days.

So, now here's the deal. One page homework = 10 mins ipad games. How long can we last? I really don't know. But these few days, I really vomit blood.

Understanding why he dislike being no5. *updated*

So he cried and cried and cried so much. Everytime someone asked, he will cry. Then my mum asked and he cried. Then bawl and insisted that I give him a report card with no.1. I said "NO! You must learn to accept the fact that you got no5 in class. No one is going to make a new report card for you and no one can change the position for you. If you wanna get no.1, you must work harder, practice your chinese writing and when exam comes, show what you can do and get no.1 yourself"

UWA UWA WA.

My mum hugged him, "it's okay... it's okay. No need number 1."

My dad went and hugged him "It's okay ah den. No need to get no.1. Ah kong sayang ah...."

His dad scolded me "you put it up on the blog for the whole world to see and then everyone will ask him and make him even more sad!"

I snapped back in tears "You didn't read what I wrote and you're saying this to me? I wrote because I think that it's a milestone for me as a mother and I have no place to voice it out. Would you understand how I feel as a mother? I just wanna write and get it out from me. You think I am not sad to see our son like this?"

Nobody was happy that day.My hub asked me to drive back from my parents' that night and he hugged JD all the way back and kept telling him "dadi love you, dadi love you. You are very clever boy".

When we got home, I asked everyone to leave me and JD alone in the kitchen. I took out his report card and his exam papers.

Me: what number did you get?
JD: *show one finger.. and then 5 fingers*
Me: What number do you think is the last number in class?
JD: 5? (he thought no5 is last in class)
Me: okay let me show you *show him his report card* You see , last semester you are 1st over 16 student. Do you know what it means?
JD: I get no.1
Me: yes. you got no.1 but out of 16 students. And then new girl came, so 16 plus 1 equals?
JD: 17!
Me: yeap.. and this round you are 5th out of 17 students. No5 is here.. *put hand high* and 17 is here *put another hand very very very low* and no1 is here *put hand slightly above 5* you see?
JD: *smile* yes!
Me: so, no5 is not very far from no1 right?
JD: yes!
Me: but 17 is very far from no5. right?
JD: yes! *happy face*
Me: So... how did you end up at no.5? let me show you okay?

So I took out his BM, Eng and Math paper. Showed him all the "tick" marks on the paper. And showed him 100% and linked to the report card.

Me: so you see, when you get 100% here, teacher will write 100% here. and your chinese.. you see you have a mistake here, your stroke is slightly too high. And here you forgot to circle, but you already colour so you missed 9 points. 100 minus 9 equals?
JD: *count count and lost count*
Me: 91% and teacher wrote here in your report book.
JD: *nod nod*
Me: So teacher never simply write you get no5 not because she doesn't like you. Its because you never collect full points for your exam. Just like playing ipad games, when you missed some "stars" or "ducks" then you won't get EXCELLENT or 3/3 ducks right? And then they will write congratulations, you are 3rd! So when you never answer correctly, then you loose some "stars" or some "ducks" and then you get lower marks lor. So maybe LST got no mistake, so he got no1. Or R answered one wrong then she got no2. And maybe C answered 2 wrongs so she get no3. And because you answer few wrongs so you get no5 lah.
JD: who got no17?
Me: I dunno wor... I also dunno who got no1,2,3,4. I only know who got no 5. You know who?
JD: ME!
Me: Yes! 5 out of 17 people. And you know you collected FULL points for these 3 papers except this one. So you're very good edi. You know?
JD: okay.
Me: 100% for 3 papers out of 4 papers. That's very very good edi. I told you, I don't care if you get no1 or not. I only want a good boy.
JD: yes yes.
Me: So let me ask you. If between No.1 and mami, which one would you choose?
JD: You.
Me: yeah. Same like me. Between no1 and you, without a doubt, I WILL CHOOSE YOU. Cos you're the most important thing to me. And not No.1. Understand?
JD: *big smile*
Me: so now, go and tell you dadi what number you get in class.
JD: *ran up* dadi dadi I got no5 out of 17 people in my class!
Dadi: Clever Boy!

And so after hearing why he dislike being no5, I found out he thought that no5 is the last number in class.
And he doesn't get how come teacher gave him No.5 instead of No.1. His fav train is No.1 so he thought he must be forever no.1 engine.
He doesn't know how the point system works, ie exam paper reflects his result in report book.

And after explaining to him, he is happier and kinda accepted the fact that he is no5 and he must work harder to improve his chinese. So the next day i tried and see his reaction again.

Me: Jayden, what number did you get in class?
JD: *show one finger*
Me: *angry*
JD: *show 5 fingers*
Me: Yes. No 5
JD: Can you make one report card and put no1 for me? *grin*
Me: *slap forehead*

Disappointed Him

Today we went to school for parent's teacher meeting and also to take JD's report book. He asked me "mami, am I going to get no.1 again?". Knowing that he might not get no1 again, I told him "it's okay if you didn't get no.1 this time babe". He replied "No. I want to get no.1".

So as we entered the classroom, the teacher asked us to sit down and opened his file for us to see. From far, I can see his position in class. My heart sank. I know my boy will be disappointed.

"Jayden Chan, you get no.5"

Disbelief, he turned to me and looked at my face and said "Mami, what number did I get?"

I said "no. 5 babe. 5 out of 17".

His eyes went big, then became really small and he said "....no..........No........NO................"

His results were 100% for Maths, English and BM. And 91% for chinese. 4 mistakes.

Teacher said "Jayden Chan, don't be sad. You are very clever you know? You got 3 100% and only did a few mistake in Chinese paper. You are considered very good already compared to others"

He hugged me and said "mami.. i don't want to get no5. I need to be no.1. Can you give me no1?"

"babe, you're no.1 in my heart. okay?" I said. 

Crying and smiling at the same time, he nodded. Then he turned and saw his teacher, he cried again and said "can you give me no1?"

I said "okay, I will go home and use a blue colour paper (cos his fav colour is blue) and I will write 'Jayden Chan No.1' for you okay?"

Dadi said "Jayden boy. You're dadi's no1 boy okay? It's okay if you didn't get no.1. At least you tried."

Teacher also told him that she will make a report card for him and write no1 for him. Then only he stopped crying. *wipe sweat*

To be honest, I know that he won't maintain his position in class this time. Because I know some of the parents really revised and brushed the kids up for this exam. And also JD is lack of discipline and refused to practice chinese writing. Always dily-daly when I asked him to do practice and it really pisses me off.  So I thought, well let him have it his own way. Let him try to go for this exam without practicing and then he won't get no.1 and he will know that he needs to practice and study more in order to get higher marks. The day came and true enough, it happened. He is sad, I am sad. But this ought to teach him that he need to listen to me when I asked him to practice writing so that he will improve and not because I want him to practice for the sake of making him busy.

Kids, gotto let them learn the hard way.

Tough love.

Bullied - The Pencil Case

Ai.....the last time I blogged about JD got bullied in school, things got better. I checked his pencil case yesterday and I saw he had 2 pencils and one mechanical pencil that his dad bought for him. This morning i checked again, he has only ONE short pencil in his pencil case. I asked him what happened to the other 2 pencils and he said "someone" took it. I said "Nevermind, next time just bring one pencil and don't bring anymore expensive pencils to school". 

When I got into his class, I just briefly asked the teacher that if she happens to see JD pencils around. Immediately she asked everyone to take out their pencil case and she went and dug everyone's bag to find it for me. Everyone took out the pencil case and to my surprise a few of them has really nice, long, perfectly sharpened pencils. Some even had like 5 pencils in the pencil case. Of course, we didn't find the pencils and so I said "it's okay lah". What to do right?

Then teacher asked everyone to write their name on the paper that she had just distributed and guess what? 2 boys ran from another table, came to my son's table (he shared table with another boy and girl) and snatched the other boy's pencils (2 pencils) and gave him a broken pencil. They went back to their own table and began to write their name. I saw the incident cos I was standing right in front of them. So I confronted the 2 boys "Why did you take JC's pencil? You have so many long and sharpened pencils (yes, he is the one with 5 nice pencils) in your pencil case". He replied "Cos I don't wanna use my own pencil". I said "No. Use your own. Give it back to JC". He said "Nope!" and continued to write his name. Angry or not you say????? I said to the boy "JC, go ask them to return your pencil. Don't let them bully you". He just stood there with his broken pencil and wanted to cry.

Damn sad i-tell-yiu! So I told the teacher and she immediately asked them to return the pencil to him and use their own pencil to write. I told her about the kids using JD's colour pencil and asking him to go and sharpen it for them. I told her , "I checked this morning and his yellow colour was this short!"

Seriously!

and their colour pencil are nicely arranged and sharpened in their own bag. How can? I mean not to say I'm being petty about things like this, but it's just not right. You know what I mean ah?

So teacher said to JD" JD Chan, next time they use your pencil and colour pencil, please come and tell me okay?" The other boy just looked down and kept quiet. Kesian! So I told him "JC, don't be scared okay. If they take your things next time just go and tell Teacher C. She will help you". He nodded and I can see tears in his eyes.

I thought to myself while driving back. If I wasn't there to witness it, then he would be bullied for don't know how long. And the mom has no idea about it cos I am so sure he is not gonna tell anyway. Cos no one told him its wrong. He just thought "okay...............i got one broken pencil.......sharpen it.......get to work..". And the other 2 kids, I am sure the parents don't know about it. But how come they never question why the pencils are always the same length and its perfectly sharpened all the time. 

Make me thought some more , how many parent actually know what is happening to their kids in school. Are they the one that bullied or the one that got bullied?

My New Header

There was one time, after I sent JD to school I quickly drive over to the wet market. Go to my usual veg stall, pick pick pick and then jump over to another. Pick, pick, pick and then zoom home. Put down the things, hang clothes, prepare lunch, cut cut, wash wash, cook cook then head over to other stuff like mopping, vaccuming, making bed, put all the crap/toys into a box and bring it up and so on. Sometimes when I look back, I kinda look like the cartoon ninja moving left and right. So I had this idea for the longest time but didn't have the chance to illustrate it out until last week.

Of course its not complete without the rest of my family members.

This, of course is my husband. He's usually very tired and sleep when he get back from work. So most of the time he'll doze off while watching tv, and he's always reading something in the laptop or ipad.

This lil ninja in blue, of course is Jayden. His fav colour is blue and he love to do headstand. Got the idea to draw him doing headstand from my previous post :)

And this, I don't need to explain more.

And this, is my new family portrait and my new header. =)